Depression. Her. cant live without her.

Everything was perfect two years back. i do not know whats happening to me right now.i am starting to recall all the bad stuffs i had with my dad.frustrated,having fights with my girlfriend,just not even 2 days passed feeling like end of the world,i cut my wrist,usually punch walls, have anger issues but recently insecurity knocked at my doors as well,came up with the thought of suicide but was scared enough.m just going crazy. 4 years back i suddenly started having severe head pain unbearable, and i did all the tests ddint turn out anything, everything was normal.love life,study life , relationship with my father ,nothing is going in the right way.my father loves me but why is it i am only remembering what bad stuffs he had  done on me. when a fight between my gf satrts . fault usually is even but evrytime when she back fires ..totally a mental torture. cant live without her... feels that way .was very much self obsessed but feels like now kinda hate who i am