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Depression and mental stress
I have 1.7 years old baby. Post delivery i have changed a lot. I became short tempered and i am expecting baby should be only with me always and i am expecting her attention always. If she is not asking for me and instead if she is close to anyone i am feeling sad and i am crying that she doesn't need me or she is not giving importance. I know she is too young for all that but i want her attention to me like how she gives her attention to her grandparents. I dont feel i am right about this and i am not knowing whom to talk to also. I have very less supportive spouse so i feel lonely and depressed.
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I completely understand how you must be feeling. It is common with few women after delivery. I think you need to consult a clinical psychologist for this as with help you can learn to deal with your negative thoughts and emotions.
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First baby for u i think so it's quite natural. Possessiveness , insecure feelings and dependant on ur baby to some extent is ok. Your seeking attention from ur child. You need to consult ur worries, emotional concerns with psychologist. Consult online via practo.
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Post delivery for few Mother's this kind of expectations happen.. Maybe you are Lacking some emotional support and in return you are expecting that to be compensated by your child.. Seek a professional support.. You can overcome this issue.. For more details and clarity you can connect with me by using the link given below :- https://prac.to/hema-sampath-psychologist-dir
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What you are going through is a type of postpartum depression. A lot of changes happen to a woman both physically and mentally after childbirth. However, the fact that you realise that some of your behaviour is irrational means you have already taken the first step. It would help you to book a session with a counselling psychologist and talk about overcoming your short temper and handling the need for attention from your baby.
Next Steps
please have a consultation with a trained psychologist/therapist who can help you. Involve your spouse in your thought process and talk about how you feel about this with him. Parenting is something that the both of you should do together.
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Do not allow your temper to take control of you. When your child plays/seeks attention from people other than yourself, it simply means the child is growing up and widening her horizon of social circle. Look at it for what it is - a positive milestone in her growth.
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I understand. It is normal phenomena to expect attention and love from your child. And you deserve your child's attention. In this case, we need look at the future of the child. Your child have to learn many things from this world and that is possible only when she indulge with some other people other than you. Having said this, there is no doubt your child never leave you at any point of time, your child is always yours.
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Train your heart and mind to understand yourself and your child for the benefit of both of you.
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I understand your predicament. I want you to know that you play an indispensable role in her life. Everything that you do matters. It's not always going to be easy and predictable. But, knowing how important a role you can play in her life will help you tide over the challenges you might face in your journey as a parent, today and tomorrow. I want you to know that this is so and always will be regardless of her relationship with significant others in her life. Also, ' You can only give what you have '. Taking care of your physical and psychological well-being in the best possible manner will help you do the same for your child too. Here are a few suggestions that could help you : Awareness of how the mind works and how thoughts are generated will also help you deal with the challenges you are facing right now. The nature of the Mind, which in simple terms we experience as thoughts, is such that, it will keep shifting its focus from one object/topic/event to another. Ii always needs something to hold on to. Today the mind might be fixated on something. Tomorrow it could be another topic/event/person. Another important characteristic of the Mind is this - You may either have thoughts about the past or the future. This keeps alternating. Try thinking about the present moment - you will see that the Mind and 'Now' can never coexist. The Mind has 3 states in general. Sometimes, you may find yourself having very positive, inspiring thoughts. During other times, you may find yourself very emotional, or all charged for action. Whereas during other times, you may feel very lethargic, dull or lazy. These states keep alternating. Having understood the nature of the mind, the first step towards mental health is to become aware of your thoughts. Learning to be an observer of your thoughts, learning to observe them from a distance like clouds passing in the sky. Just like how the clothes you are wearing right now are yours, but not you, thoughts that you experience from time to time are yours, but not you. The next step is knowing that you have the power to choose which thought you wish to focus on and act on and exercising that power. With practice, you will have better mastery over this process. Having negative thoughts is something that plagues everybody from time to time. Trust me, even if everything was perfect, we may still find some shortcomings somewhere and brood about it. When you repeatedly focus on a thought ( that springs from a belief that you have and which is threatening or disturbing by nature ) instead of letting it go, the corresponding emotion rises in your brain. It overpowers your capability to think rationally. You feel imprisoned by your own thoughts and emotions. As mentioned above, with practice, you will learn to focus and entertain only those thoughts are healthy enough to be acted upon. Fighting a thought is like fighting a shadow. You can see it, but it's not real. Fighting a thought or emotion only gives it more power. Like for ex, when they ask you not to think of a pink elephant, the first thought that invariably comes to you is that of a pink elephant. Instead, what we can do is, learning to be a distant observer of thoughts ( that are only based on past experiences and hence are no longer true or relevant today or do not serve your highest good ) and not act on them. Whenever you feel overwhelmed by thoughts, just bring your focus back to your breath and take a few relaxing breaths. Here is a breathing exercise that could help you : You may do this in the night too once you have finished with your tasks for the day : Inhale slowly to a count of four - hold your breath to a count of four - exhale slowly to a count of eight. Repeat this twenty times. You may do this also in the morning before you begin your daily routine. Gently massage the back of your neck and the base of the skull when you lie down to rest. Whatever you feed your mind through your sense organs will be replayed to you as thoughts. Be conscious of this. Take care of the content you feed your mind - the kind of books you read, the websites you visit, the kind of music you listen to, the kind of food you eat, the kind of company you keep ( "You are an average of five people you spend most of your time with" ) Our attitude towards life in general and things in particular is based on our Beliefs - what we believe to be true about ourselves and the world. What are your core beliefs about yourself and the world? Try writing them down and examine the validity of these beliefs. Some of them may be limiting and negative in nature because of the kind of feedback you received while growing up - at home, in school, from your classmates, friends, relatives, etc. But once you are aware of them, you shed light on them,examine their truth, they can no longer manipulate your behavior or actions. As your beliefs change, your attitude changes, and words, actions and behavior follow. Please set aside time for exercise daily and make sure you eat healthy every time. Our challenges that seem to threaten our very existence are the ones that serve as fuel for our evolution. Here are a few links that could be helpful : https://fit.practo.com/#!/content/41615 https://fit.practo.com/#!/content/41716 https://fit.practo.com/#!/content/41867 https://fit.practo.com/#!/content/41735 https://fit.practo.com/#!/content/41642 https://fit.practo.com/#!/content/41639 Step One https://fit.practo.com/#!/content/41640 Step Two https://fit.practo.com/#!/content/41641 Step Three https://fit.practo.com/#!/content/41645 Step Four Take care.
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Disclaimer : The content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding your medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website.