My best friend (lover) died last year. I knew him for 19 years. Since then I have grown scared of relationships. I haven't attempted anything stupid despite the temptation but in all honesty, I don't want to live. I can't sleep well at nights. I want to be left alone at all times. I keep hurting people who care for me.
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Hi dere, I know u need no shoulder again at least for now but I know this too...dat u won't like the idea of ur loved ones demise to mark ur withdrawal and abandonment.
It's OK to feel the pain..this is wat makes u more human den someone who doesn't care for birth or death. His role on this stage was limited but ur part to engage and influence lives is still left.
When things happen our way ...its gud...but when they don't den its even better...becoz its HIS will and He never makes mistakes or intends to do bad to u.
It's the grief which u r going thru and its perfectly normal to feel like being left alone for a while ..not forever. U gotta carry on once u hv stopped grieving.
This has to happen someday if not today...
U gotta consult a psychiatrist....hope this helps ...but still feel free to consult further in follow up section..I know these words don't stand anywhere in front of ur suffering. But u gotta believe in order to feel relieved..