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Body Dismorphia
As a male I have a high body dismorphia. I have always been insecure about my physical appearance. It's awkward to share , but I want to share it. When I see a female having bigger and thicker thighs than me , as a male I find myself jealous. I don't have that big and thick legs, and seeing girls of nearly my age having bigger legs make me feel they are way stronger than me in terms of the lower body. This makes me feel bad , as man tend to be masculine, but seeing a stronger woman than you , makes your ego hurt.I know I may have more muscle mass in the lower body(since I regularly train my legs in the gym) than most of the women out there and also that their legs look big just because of the fat. But at the end it's the physical appearance that matters and I look smaller than them in terms of the size they carry in their lower body.I always try to get bigger thighs and calf by eating more and more to at least match the women out there, but this makes me obese.Help.
Answers (12)
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Body shaming yourself is never advisable.also body of male and female are different. Never compare them together.kindly consult psychotherapist and are advised to take few counseling sessions.
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It doesn’t matter, don’t worry, I mean, don’t body shame yourself because the way you are, you’re okay and I’m sure that people like you and it’s fine. I mean, if you have any doubt regarding it, please take therapy session because I think it’s stemming from some insecurity and jealousy is not about emotion because it will prevent you from having asexual relationships, so contact me for therapy, all the best.
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Often during adolescence and young adulthood we are over conscious about our body and looks..we are preoccupied with body related thoughts..we tend to notice flaws in our body which are either v minor or even unnoticed by others..it could be a result of having negative self perceptions..so try to avoid such negative feelings by assuring yourself that you are healthy and taking good care of yourself by doing daily workouts. Try to indulge in some hobbies which make u feel positive and distracts you from overthinking
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Consult a psychologist
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Ms. Farheen Moulana
Psychologist
4 yrs exp
Bangalore
I understand. It seems like you are comparing yourself negatively and also feeling that you don’t measure up. But what if I told you that women’s body and a man’s body are totally different and beyond any comparisons. Let’s challenge these negative thoughts together first. Men and women are biologically made different and especially their fat distribution is done according to their functionality. Reasons could be hormones, genetics etc. Body shape does not measure strength in anyway. You must understand that you are worth more than how your body looks and there is so much more than physical appearance. So let’s focus more on what your body can do rather than how it looks.
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You can consult me as we discuss on strengths and regaining confidence of self.
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Practice mindfulness, self kindness, focus on functionality and practice self care
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Ms. Hema Sampath
Counselling Psychologist
18 yrs exp
Bangalore
Consult a psychological Counselor to understand yourself better and to overcome this issue..
I feel basically you need to love and accept yourself.. For which a therapist might help you with a better clarity.
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Ms. Rizwana Parvin T M
Counselling Psychologist
7 yrs exp
Coimbatore
As you yourself this thought process is making you obese. So we need to address this thought process, Comparison with any other person is generally not the right attitude to keep. The best way to compare you is with yourself. How you were a year before or a month before. Ego and jealousy is something everyone has, but we need to address it in the right way, Focus has to shift to your strengths and your weaknesses and focus has to be improving your weaknesses as in here, such comparative thought has to be minimised.
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Consult me, I can help you out by resolving your challenges and live a better life with a positive, gratitude and growth mindset.
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Ms. Parul Pushkarna
Psychologist
3 yrs exp
Navi Mumbai
Hey,
Thank you for sharing thisâit's a courageous step, and it speaks to a common experience that many men go through. Body dysmorphia can feel incredibly isolating, especially when it challenges deeply held beliefs about masculinity and physical appearance. Our society often reinforces certain expectations around what it means to "look strong" or "masculine," which can make it even harder to separate personal self-worth from physical appearance. Itâs completely okay to feel this way, and acknowledging these thoughts is an important step in beginning to work through them.
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Consider reaching out to a therapist who can guide you through these feelings. Therapy can be a safe and non-judgmental space to explore the roots of body image concerns and learn techniques for building a healthier relationship with your body. A therapist trained in body dysmorphia or self-image issues could offer valuable tools to help manage the distress around appearance and self-comparison. You may also benefit from focusing on how your body feels and functions, rather than how it compares to others, which can be a more empowering mindset in the long term.
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Itâs important to remember that over-focusing on size or appearance can lead us into a cycle of comparison thatâs rarely fulfilling. Our bodies are unique, and physical strength, health, and confidence donât have to look the same for everyone. Trying to "outsize" others may lead to habits that arenât healthy or sustainable in the long run, like overeating without proper balance. Remind yourself that feelings of inadequacy and envy are common, but they donât have to define you or your journey. Therapy can provide the support and understanding needed to build self-acceptance and reshape these patterns of thinking into ones that bring you peace and fulfillment.
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Ms. Pooja Gupta
Counselling Psychologist
8 yrs exp
Delhi
Hi,
Itâs important to understand that body image issues can affect anyone, regardless of gender, and itâs okay to feel insecure about your appearance. Comparing yourself to others, particularly when it comes to body size and shape, can often lead to negative feelings and unrealistic expectations. Remember that strength and fitness come in many forms, and what matters most is how you feel about your own body and its capabilities. Instead of focusing solely on size, consider redefining your goals to include functional strength and overall health rather than just aesthetics. Consulting with a fitness professional or a therapist could also be beneficial, as they can help you create a balanced approach to training and nutrition that promotes both physical and mental well-being. Embrace your unique body and the progress you make in your fitness journey, and remember that everyone has their own struggles with body image; you are not alone.
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consult with a Psychologist
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seek help
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Ms. Shivangi Agrawal
Psychotherapist
7 yrs exp
Gurgaon
It's really brave of you to open up about your feelings and share your concerns around body image.
The way fat and muscle are distributed in our bodies often varies between men and women due to biological factors. Women’s bodies tend to store more fat around the thighs and hips, while men’s bodies are more likely to build muscle in the upper body. This difference, influenced by hormones, can make it seem like certain features are less attainable, even with dedicated effort. That said, it’s fantastic that you’re committed to your health by working out and maintaining a good diet—these are strong habits that will serve you well.
However, it’s natural to still feel insecure sometimes, especially when you start comparing yourself to others. These feelings are valid, and working through them is part of building a healthy relationship with yourself. Exploring these feelings with someone supportive could help uncover any underlying beliefs or expectations. Therapy can be a helpful space for this, offering guidance as you work toward self-acceptance and a perspective that empowers you. You’ve taken a great first step by sharing.
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Ms. Smriti
Counselling Psychologist
18 yrs exp
Bangalore
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consult
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counseling
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Mr. Veda Vyas
Hypnotherapist
Hyderabad
Appreciate that you acknowledge the issue you are facing and try to address it. From what you have described, this very specific psychological insecurity, both proper psychological counseling to address self esteem and hypnotherapy to address subconscious belief system, a combination of these two with an expert will help overcome it, raise your self esteem and prevent issues like obesity you don't want.
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consult a professional,
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it can be done online if you don't have anyone suitable in your city.
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Ms. Diksha K
Hypnotherapist
6 yrs exp
Mumbai
Hello dear ,
Firstly I would like to acknowledge and appreciate your willingness to reach out for help and being vulnerable. I can imagine how much of courage that requires and I would really like to appreciate you for that
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I understand the options I discussed above might be difficult to practice alone. Therefore seeking professional help to really heal and remove this issue from the root is recommended. ( as the roots of this disorder are often rooted in childhood and requires intensive and deeper work).
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