Anxiety and OCD concerns. This continue?

I have got diagnosed with severe anxiety, depression, and OCD issues since last year, June. Before being diagnosed , I had been suffering from immense panic attacks and insomnia, overthinking from 1½ years. Also I'm a thyroid patient since the age of 3½years. Although, when my psychiatric medications were started, I felt better, but gradually, things started getting out of control. The idea of taking psychiatric medications have been really overwhelming that I kept skipping my medications over and over, had attempted suicidal activities several times that I got admitted to ICU. Now my concern is that even after taking medications, thoughts of suicidal still remains, the fear of taking medications doesn't gets away, hence my anxiety and intrusive thoughts remains. I do physical exercises sometimes and meditation on a daily basis except on the days when I feel that my anxiety is high. I just don't know for how long will this continue? I'm really frustrated.