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Anger issue
My husband gets angry at the drop of the hat... for every small thing also he gets mad and yells and beats me too sometimes.. his parents neglected his needs growing up and concentrated on others more than him .. he gets mad at me.. even when I was pregnant he use to scold me.. he brushes off the issue and falls asleep if im talking... i feel like leaving him.. since 10 years he didn't change.. how to calm him ... kindly suggest something...
Answers (7)
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That's unfortunate!
He may be suffering from IED. He may need psychological and psychiatric intervention.
Also you need to discuss way forward with a Counselor..Also getting back to emotional balance should be a priority.
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Hi there are two factors playing here,
1. Your husbands anger
2. You tolerating his anger
1. If you want your husband to get better with his anger you need to help him go see a therapist. As it has been over 10 years and I am sure you must have done everything in your capacity to reduce his anger. He needs professional help.
2. You have gone through a lot with his anger. You need to decide if you want to continue with this relationship. If he doesn’t seek therapy chances are that he is not going to change. If you decide to live with him you need to develop strategies to cope with his anger and look after yourself.
We can start therapy with you and see how you feel about your situation and assist your husband also to seek help.
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You can contact me on Practo.
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Thanks for reaching our for help. Firstly, does your husband realise that he has an anger management problem? Have your tried talking to him about it? It is him who needs counselling advise in this situation. There is only so much you can do unless he comes forward to accept and agree that this problem is big enough to warrant attention. Try talking him into taking psychological help to deal with his anger. You can also encourage him to take an appointment with a psychologist simply to clear his mind and get clarity because this anger might affect other areas of his life too.
Next Steps
Try to find the right time to talk to him about taking help for his anger issues.
Health Tips
Be cautious about how you tell him about how you feel. Most of the time, like you mentioned, anger shown towards the spouse can have deep rooted causes like being neglected as a child. So, his problem could very well be misplaced anger. Do not hold it against him. Give him the benefit of the doubt for now and try pushing him towards having a session with a psychologist or hypnotherapist. Every step you take will bear fruit.
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Before calm him down you have to be brave and be patience.
You need yourself prepare for any type of mental Pressure.
To reduce anger of any one you have to know the exact causes of his or her anger.
Causes are the key to solve any problem.
Consult any psychologist for anger issues.
Your Husband needs Psychological help and he must realise it also.
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Ms. Hema Sampath
Psychologist
18 yrs exp
Bangalore
As you have mentioned, maybe he has never corrected thus particular behaviour from his childhood..
We cannot blame the parents for everything.
Yet, it is he who has not realised it and had not made any effective changes..
Only if, he wants to change, and feels that his behaviour of his is causing some relationship issues, he will come forward to seek a professional support..
Try to speak to him whenever he is little sensible to listen, suggest him to consult a therapist..
You can reach me by using the link given below :-
https://prac.to/hema-sampath-psychologist-dir
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Ms. Chellam Narendiran
Psychologist
10 yrs exp
Coimbatore
Hi there,
Do understand your pain. Every problem has a solution in itself. As you clearly stated, its the outburst of his unaddressed emotional pain during childhood. Still its been the same. Try to identify his core problem and seek professional assistance.
Next Steps
Speak to him politely. Probably special care and attention and appreciation for his small things would do a bit. Identify his trigger point, behavior pattern and expected outcome. Once you identified this you will find a way out.
Health Tips
(1) Change your words and approach (2) Convert his weakness for your advantage (3) Encourage his positivity and strength to make him feel special.
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Mr. Nishok SA
Counselling Psychologist
5 yrs exp
Chennai
See what triggers his anger and try to avoid it..
Eg. Keeping things at place..
There is a deep routed issue.
How and why you tolerated for 10 years??
Very late..
Still you can try..
Next Steps
talk to psychologist.. contact me for in depth sessions.. good luck
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