From what you've described, it seems you've been experiencing excessive worry, overthinking, and a strong need for certainty since childhood. Constantly imagining worst-case scenarios, replaying past decisions, fearing failure, and trying to control every possible outcome can be emotionally exhausting. These patterns may be associated with conditions such as Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) or other anxiety-related difficulties, but a proper assessment by a mental health professional is needed before making any diagnosis.
Next Steps
I recommend consulting a psychologist for a detailed psychological assessment. Therapy, especially Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT), can help you identify unhelpful thinking patterns, reduce overthinking, improve tolerance of uncertainty, and make decisions with greater confidence. If your symptoms are severe or significantly affecting your daily life, a psychiatrist can also assess whether medication may be beneficial.
Health Tips
Try to remember that seeking absolute certainty before making decisions often increases anxiety rather than reducing it. Recovery involves learning to tolerate uncertainty, challenge catastrophic thoughts, and focus on what is within your control. With the right support, these patterns can improve significantly, allowing you to regain confidence and enjoy life with less fear and overthinking.