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What should I do
When I was 16 yrs old I had a bf for 1.5 yrs after that we didn't have a proper breakup he just told me that he will contact me after a year and he did the same thing but I got in a new relationship after a year because I was very emotionally drained and that relationship lasted for 3 years and since then I m single but my first bf my childhood love still contacts me and is trying to win me back since we broke up .but idk if he really loves me or should I trust him .what should I do ?
Answers (15)
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It sounds like youâre feeling torn, and thatâs completely understandable given the history you share with your first boyfriend. Itâs important to reflect on how his actions and words make you feel now, not just the feelings tied to the past. Ask yourself if you truly trust him and whether his efforts to win you back align with the respect, consistency, and love you deserve. Consider whether rekindling this relationship would bring you happiness or if it might reopen old wounds. Take your time to think about what you truly want, not just what he wants. If you're unsure, have an honest conversation with him about his intentions and your feelings. Ultimately, prioritize your peace and emotional well-being. Trust yourself to make the best decision for your future.
Next Steps
seeking support from a therapist or counselor can make a world of difference, helping you work through the emotions and patterns stemming from childhood trauma.
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If you are in hold of your emotions
You can try
But be aware of the red flags
You can consult for same
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Hi
If both of you are still single give it a chance ,
Next Steps
relationship therapy
Health Tips
trust
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Connect with psychotherapist
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connect
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Itâs natural to feel torn when someone from your past keeps re-entering your life. While itâs lovely to cherish memories of your first love, itâs important to evaluate whether his intentions align with your current emotional needs and future aspirations. Trust is built on consistent actions, not just words, so take your time to observe whether his efforts reflect genuine care and commitment.
Next Steps
Reflect on what you truly want in a partner and a relationship. Does his return align with your emotional well-being and goals? Consider having an open and honest conversation with him. Ask about his intentions and why heâs reaching out after all this time. Take things slowly. Avoid rushing into any decisions or commitments without clarity and emotional certainty.
Health Tips
Focus on your own emotional health and growth. Journaling, meditation, or speaking with a trusted counselor can help you process your feelings. Look at his actions over time. Consistency is key to determining whether someone genuinely values you. Surround yourself with supportive friends and loved ones who can offer objective insights. Ultimately, trust your instincts and prioritize your happiness. Iâm here if youâd like to discuss this further.
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Connect for therapy
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consult
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counseling
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You need relationship counseling sessions to overcome this dilemma.
You need an expert counseling psychologist asap.
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I have been working as a Homeopathic Psychiatrist and Counseling Psychologist for the last 17 years. You can contact me through an online appointment for further assistance
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At 16, your relationship might have been a less serious relationship and since you did not have a proper breakup, it is unfinished. What you can do is, meet the person without prejudice and see if that person is willing. As you are now matured enough, you can open mindedly look out for a serious relationship. You can begin with this person if he feels the same way. Goodluck!
Next Steps
if you need you can take a counselling session to be reassured.
Health Tips
if you know that person really well and trust him, please go ahead or stay cautious.
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Hi,
Navigating feelings from your past can be challenging, especially when it involves someone who was significant in your life. It's essential to reflect on why your first boyfriend didn't have a proper breakup and why he's trying to reconnect now. Consider how you feel about him and whether those feelings are rooted in nostalgia or genuine love. It's also important to evaluate how your previous relationship affected you and what you need in a partner moving forward. Have an open and honest conversation with him about your feelings and intentions, and observe his actions over time. Trust is built through consistent behavior, so take your time to see if he is genuinely committed to a healthy relationship. Ultimately, prioritize your emotional well-being and ensure that any decision you make aligns with your values and long-term happiness.
Next Steps
consult
Health Tips
seek help
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It sounds like you’re feeling torn between the emotions from your past and what you want for your future. It’s completely valid to feel this way—it’s not easy to navigate such a deep connection, especially when it resurfaces.
First, take a step back and focus on what you truly want. Do you still have feelings for him, or is it the idea of what you shared that’s pulling you back? Sometimes, nostalgia can make old relationships seem more appealing than they actually are.
Second, ask yourself if his actions now align with the kind of partner you want in your life. Has he shown consistency, respect, and genuine care? Or does it feel like he comes back only when it suits him? Trust isn’t built just on words; it’s built on actions over time.
Lastly, remember that you have the right to set boundaries. If you’re unsure, you don’t have to rush into any decision. Take your time to understand his intentions and prioritize your emotional well-being. Whatever choice you make, let it be one that brings you peace.
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This must be confusing for you as you both distanced yourself for a year without any explanation which was overwhelming for you. It is natural to have questions about his intentions as their is no clear picture you have of him but he keeps contacting which is again confusing and draining for you.
Next Steps
I suggest you to have counselling sessions for you to get a clear picture. It will also help in making a decision.
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Ms. Srividhya Mahalingam
Counselling Psychologist
19 yrs exp
Coimbatore
Hi.... Do not have to consider that it will last for long, may or may not, if he really loved you he wouldn't have stayed for one year without contacting you... He must have felt lonely or he must have had a break up.... So be prepared to face any consequences...
Next Steps
No one may stay with you for long... unless otherwise it is a marriage.... even if it is a marriage.... anything may happen how far both the partners are trustworthy... better to take such situations easy.... and let go
Health Tips
keep your mind strong and undergo counseling and psychotherapy if necessary
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Ms. Farheen Moulana
Counselling Psychologist
4 yrs exp
Bangalore
Hi, I can understand how emotionally exhausted and confused you must be feeling right now.it sounds like you have been through a lot and it’s okay to take your time and figure out what you want.
The fact that it has been a significant amount of time since your first relationship and also that your first boyfriend is trying to win you back I think you must consider exploring your concerns about trusting your first boyfriend especially about his past behaviours. Look out for red flags. You have to look out if he is genuinely concerned about her emotional wellbeing and feelings or is he just driven by his desires.
Remember your emotional wellbeing is more important. It is always important to take for your self care and prioritise your needs first.
Ultimately the decision is yours to make. Take time don’t feels pressurised to make a decision that does. It align with your values and priorities. Double check what you exactly need from a partner in terms of communication, companionship, emotional support and respect. Because ultimately you deserve to be in a relationship where you are valued, respected and happy.
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Ms. Hema Sampath
Counselling Psychologist
18 yrs exp
Bangalore
To get a better clarity and understanding about yourself and about your future life, would suggest you to consult a Relationship Expert /Therapist personally either online or Offline..
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Mr. Gunjan Maithil
Psychologist
13 yrs exp
Bangalore
Hi... You are suffering from a typical approach-avoidance conflict. You don't want to be alone but at the same time you're afraid to take the leap of faith and go back to someone who left you earlier. You need to address your own thoughts & emotions in a therapeutic setting to understand what exactly you want. The decision will be yours but it has to be based on your freewill and not on any insecurity or confusion. We sometimes get so overwhelmed by our emotions that we are unable make a correct choice even when the signs are clear. Therapy is meant to address such issues in a controlled, confidential, and non-judgemental setting.
Next Steps
Consult a Psychologist.
CBT along with Interpersonal Guidance and Relationship Counselling is required.
Health Tips
Mr. Gunjan Maithil
Senior Psychologist
Cell: nine six seven one three zero three one three four
Website: https://gunjanmaithil.wixsite.com/therapy
App: http://wix.to/fechb08?ref=cl
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