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What are the problems:please elaborate
I used to chat with girls on social media,I don't know why I used to do that while having a gf but also I used to tell my gf about those things sometimes,like it's a kind of fun,I used to smile and say those things to her, never realised it could hurt her.Few days later I really got engaged with a girl,like calling,texting,one night I had dirty talks with her on call(never told this to my gf),but told that I was talking to a girl since a few days, and she stayed with me!!A few days later I broke up with her as I was not enjoying the relationship,but the next day I patched up saying that it was a prank.She again accepted me.Now from then everytime I got angry, frustrated with her I said her that it's breakup,used to ignore her for 10 min,then again patchup.After 6 months I was ready to be intimate with her,she was also but not in oyo,nudes,sexting(call,chat)was not her type,so kissing was not enough for me and sex was not that important for her in relationship.Blamed,judged he breakup
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It's complex....
You need to figure out your emotions and behave accordingly to justify your actions. There should be a synchronised process for thoughts, feelings, behaviour and actions.
You need an expert counseling psychologist to explore yourself.
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I have been working as a Homeopathic Psychiatrist and Counseling Psychologist for the last 17 years. You can contact me through an online appointment for further assistance
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Hi,
It sounds like you've been navigating a complex mix of emotions and behaviors within your relationship, which has led to significant turmoil for both you and your girlfriend. Engaging with other girls while being in a relationship can often stem from a desire for validation or excitement, but itâs crucial to recognize how these actions can affect your partnerâs feelings and the trust in your relationship. While sharing your interactions with other girls might have seemed like harmless fun, it can easily be perceived as a betrayal, especially in a romantic context. Additionally, the series of breakups and reconciliations creates a cycle of emotional instability that can be damaging, as it may convey mixed signals and uncertainty about your commitment.
The lack of alignment between your needs for intimacy and her comfort level with certain types of interactions reflects a deeper incompatibility in your values and expectations in a relationship. Itâs essential to communicate openly and honestly about desires and boundaries, as misunderstandings can lead to resentment and frustration, which youâve experienced. The way you've reacted to anger or frustrationâthreatening breakupsâcan further exacerbate feelings of insecurity and can be harmful to both partners. It may be beneficial to reflect on what you truly want in a relationship and how you can demonstrate respect and consideration for your partner's feelings moving forward. Seeking guidance, perhaps through talking to a counselor, could provide valuable insights into how to build healthier and more meaningful connections in the future.
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Hi
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relationship therapy
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Hi, Consult a psychologist
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What exactly are you looking for? You can consult for same
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Dr. Renu Goyal (PhD)
Clinical Psychologist
18 yrs exp
Noida
It sounds like youâve been caught in a cycle of impulsive actions and emotional highs and lows in your relationship. Itâs important to reflect on why you seek external validation and why you use breakups as a way to handle frustration. This pattern can be harmful, not just to your partner but also to your own emotional well-being. Healthy relationships require mutual respect, trust, and emotional stability. It might help to take a step back and work on understanding your own needs, boundaries, and ways of managing emotions before continuing in a relationship. Therapy or self-reflection could be beneficial in breaking this cycle and fostering healthier connection
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seeking support from a therapist or counselor
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Mr. Sandeep Kumar
Psychologist
12 yrs exp
Chandigarh
Hi, It sounds like there were repeated patterns of emotional manipulation, dishonesty, and a lack of respect for boundaries in your relationship. Constant breakups, patch-ups, and seeking attention outside the relationship created instability.
If you truly want healthier relationships in the future, it might help to reflect on your actions, understand your emotional needs, and work on better communication and self-control.
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Ms. Rizwana Parvin T M
Counselling Psychologist
7 yrs exp
Coimbatore
Healthy relationship requires trust, respect and fine line between each other so both don't cross each other's limits. Focus on you and your work. Try to only develop the bond.
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trust and discipline needs to be cultivated
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Ms. Farheen Moulana
Psychologist
4 yrs exp
Bangalore
Hi, please consult a Psychologist or a relationship counsellor
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Sanjana Purdhani
Psychologist
2 yrs exp
Delhi
It sounds like your past relationship was shaped by impulsivity, excitement-seeking, and emotional ups and downs. Engaging with other girls, sharing some of it playfully with your girlfriend, and later escalating to secretive behavior created a cycle of emotional instability. The repeated breakups during moments of frustration likely made the relationship uncertain and exhausting for both of you.
Your reflection on these patterns shows growth. Relationships thrive on emotional safety, trust, and mutual understanding. If physical and emotional needs werenât aligned, open conversations would have been more constructive than blame or avoidance. Recognizing these dynamics now can help you build healthier connections in the future.
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Reflect on emotional triggers â What emotions drove these actions: boredom, validation-seeking, or avoidance? Prioritize emotional safety â A secure relationship is built on consistency, not uncertainty. Communicate needs clearly â Instead of frustration, express concerns openly and respectfully. Avoid breakups as a reaction â Find healthier ways to handle conflict instead of using separation as a coping mechanism.
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Pause before acting impulsively in relationships. Practice expressing emotions without resorting to blame or withdrawal. Focus on building trust through consistency and accountability. Seek guidance if you notice recurring unhealthy patterns.
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