Suicidal feeling. That you are a loser!

I understand your situation. You seem to be suffering from significant depressive symptoms. However more clarity is needed regarding your problem. Information regarding your sleep, hunger and energy levels would be more helpful to decide on the severity of your condition. Don't worry it is not your fault, it is the hormonal and chemical fluctuations in your brain which is taking a toll on your mental health. It is easily manageable with appropriate treatment, so that dysfunction due to the same can be reduced and your quality of life will improve. If suicidal you should seek immediate psychiatric assistance. Some counselling sessions along with medical help might be useful for you. I would also be more than happy to help you with that if you are looking for online assistance. Discussions will be held confidential. You can directly consult with me through Practo as needed. Online chat consultation is also available.