I was in a relationship with a guy and he wasn't sure about me since the start and didn't like me much. He told me initially that might not marry me and disliked me because he thinks that I'm a noob.
But I couldn't let him go for 4 years and even he stayed with me. When we stayed together for few months we had a really bad phase and arguments. Now he isn't sure about me and might not marry me but I'm not able to forget him.
Is it advisable to give it a second shot or should I let him go ?
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I'm sorry to hear that!
Letting go of someone who is significant to you is really a very hard task but keeping things lingering around is harder. The most disliked thing to our minds is unpredictability. From the points you have mentioned about your relationship, it is quite understood that there has been a lot of uncertainty in your relationship you possibly couldn't have been able to predict what another person is going to do the other second but still in the hope of some miracle happening you have been sticking to the same hurtful relationship and this feeling "that things may go well, and i should give it a chance" has already wasted your valuable years of life. I don't recommend you to continue giving this relationship a chance, rather i would suggest to take a firm decision to move forward in your life, you'll definitely find someone who is more loving and caring towards you and a relationship in which both parties feel safe.
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It's understandable that letting go of someone you've been in a relationship with for a long time can be incredibly challenging. However, it's essential to assess the relationship and its dynamics to determine the best course of action for your well-being and happiness.
Based on the information you've provided, it seems that this relationship has been marked by uncertainty and negativity from the beginning. He expressed doubts about marrying you, disliked you, and there were significant arguments during your time together. These are red flags that indicate a lack of compatibility and a potentially unhealthy relationship.
Here are some factors to consider when making your decision:
Mutual respect and love: A healthy relationship should be based on mutual respect, care, and love. If these elements are missing, it can lead to ongoing issues and dissatisfaction.
Communication and understanding: Open and honest communication is vital in any relationship. If you've both struggled with effective communication and understanding each other's needs, it can create further challenges in the future.
Long-term compatibility: Consider whether your values, life goals, and aspirations align with his. Long-term compatibility is crucial for a successful and fulfilling relationship.
History of negativity: Reflect on the arguments and bad phases you've experienced in the relationship. If these patterns have been recurrent, it may be an indication that the relationship is not healthy.
Emotional well-being: Think about how this relationship has affected your emotional well-being. If being with him causes you significant distress or unhappiness, it may be time to reconsider the relationship.
Ultimately, the decision is yours to make, but it's crucial to prioritize your own happiness and well-being. If you feel that the relationship lacks a strong foundation of love, respect, and understanding, it might be best to let him go and focus on healing and moving forward. Parting ways can be difficult, but sometimes it opens the door to new opportunities and healthier relationships. Surround yourself with supportive friends and family, and consider seeking professional guidance from a counselor or therapist to help you navigate through this challenging time. Remember that you deserve a relationship where you are genuinely valued and appreciated.
I’m sorry you’re going through a difficult phase right now. Relationships can be difficult initially for most people. However things generally tend to even out in a few months or up to a couple of years in most workout-able relationships. If this hasn’t happened, it is likely there are obvious compatibility issues that may never improve. Whilst accepting that may be hard initially, it is probably better in the long run. In my experience you cannot force people to like you. In your case, you mentioned your partner not liking you as much as you him. The idea the one person can change another’s feelings, attitude and behaviours is generally overrated as shown in movies and does not fit in with current trends.
Please worth in the pros and cons of this relationship carefully before you make a decision. Remember staying in a relationship with someone who doesn’t reciprocate your love & commitment removes any chance of finding someone who matches your needs.
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Disclaimer : The content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding your medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website.
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