Rumination thoughts, suicide thoughts,

Hi I am 23 old now life has became so hard because of my past life in my family members brutally impacted my mental health and they messed up with my study's so because of that I changed my study I started living in my home town but again my parents are treated me as looser because of that I went in depression anxiety fear of future and all but mean regret was I want to become a doctor because of all thease thing I took normal degree becom but now I am not satisfied with it I want stay calm and composed because of my brain conditioning I am not doing anything so again I am feeling looser with that 5 years past life that has brutally  impacted my mental health and that comparison and all ways my mind showing that go back and change that incident but that's not possible but again and again I am failing in that to accepting that I can't change my past life so please give a solution as past as past I want to overcome this completely and let's go ahead to do something in my life please hel