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Regarding over dependence on parents.
My 33yr old husband always gets his parents involved in every little decision making or thing. Even talking at my child's school...his father did the where it should have been my husband or me. Millions of such instances are there.. we have been married for 7yrs and I am pregnant with our second child. This over involvement of his parents from both sides (my husband and inlaws) are now bothering me.
Repeated telling off has not worked.
Can you suggest tips and tricks so that he stops doing this and takes up his own responsibilities?
I dont want to threaten /divorce/leave whatsoever... but want to try behavioural tricks that can make him realise his role.
Please suggest...
Answers (8)
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Hi. Family counseling is good option here. On the other hand, it's good that people are there to see your small family. You may decide to have a separate house. Make few family videos on YouTube...
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Family Counseling
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Best wishes
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Talk to him for getting counselling session.
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consult a clinical psychologist
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Hi I am suggesting you & husband to go for counseling sessions. If not I would like you to take sessions. Marital & couple Counseling is needed.
Consult with me online via practo.
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Hi, you feel uncomfortable about your husbands parents getting involved in decision making. You feel you and your husband need to take decisions for your child. I understand you want your own private space with your husband without his family or in-laws getting involved. You don’t want your husbands family to get too involved. You can explain about your situation with a psychologist and counseling sessions will help you. A psychologist will guide you with ways in which you and your husband can make independent decisions without his family getting involved. I understand that in a marriage it is the husband and wife that needs to make decisions about child.
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Consult a psychologist.
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Feel free to contact me for counseling session.
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It seems like your husband can’t take many decisions on his own and relies on his parents’ input on things small and big which is bothering you. Your husband probably didn’t develop decision making skills or is not confident about them which may stem from his childhood. It’s important for him to gain independence at this time since it is affecting his marriage, and it may be affecting other areas if his life as well.
Taking him to counseling would be the best way to go with. You could also try to start asking for his input on small decisions that you’re making, building his confidence so that he may be able to make bigger ones in time.
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Good wishes for your pregnancy. Please note you both require couple counselling. Once you both get psycho educated on how to make your relationship strong.
You need to share more details, like are they living with you?
What kind of involvement they have and many more.
You can focus on keeping your body and mind stable and happy by doing things where others involvement is not required.
Next Steps
Recommendation : couple counselling / Please take counselling to keep your self calm and happy.
Health Tips
You can reach out online on Practo : Neha Ravichandran
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Mr. Gunjan Maithil
Psychologist
13 yrs exp
Bangalore
Hi... Please understand therapy/counselling is meant for the person who wants to bring change in himself/herself. It is not meant to suggest behavioural tricks to be used on others. It would be very unethical on the part of therapist to suggest such strategies and will be beyond the code of conduct of Therapy.
You can start taking Counselling Sessions to get better insight of your own situation, behaviour of significant others, and the family dynamics that is triggering such negative thought process in your mind.
You and your husband can also start taking marital/couple therapy to address your issues jointly.
Please remember you need to address this issue more in your mind first to cope with it outside.
Next Steps
Consult a Psychologist for Individual/ Couple Therapy.
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My Website:
https://gunjanmaithil.wixsite.com/therapy
Please use the number mentioned on my website to book online sessions. You can also Google me to seek my Services online.
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Ms. Hema Sampath
Counselling Psychologist
18 yrs exp
Bangalore
Taking suggestions from Parents is fine..
Yet, if he do not want to listen to your ideas or suggestions, that's not appropriate.
Is he not showing his love upon you and your child..
Is he not taking care of your family..
Ofcourse, the behaviour which you mentioned can bring in irritation..
Still, you both can lead an adult life as you both are old enough..
Next Steps
It is better to consult a psychological Counselor for a Marriage Counselling /Relationship counselling together to understand better about each other..
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For a detailed discussion you can reach me by using the link given below :-
https://prac.to/hema-sampath-psychologist-dir
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