OCD & depression. What should i do?

I've severe intrusiv thoughts. This is with me since I was 10 or that's how much I remember. Currently my ritual is to have a clean mental state. For this I've formatted my phone 40-50 times in the last 6 months. Also my studies are affected as I intrusive thoughts barge in. They can range from formatting my phone to me being privileged than rest of the world and I dont deserve it to fear of poverty even though I'm from a financially stable family. My phone ritual and intrusive thoughts make me suicidal sometime and mostly depressed. I sleep for 10 hours on average, feel lifeless and no joy. This got worse since a breakup 2 year back from an emotionally abusive relationship. I need help. I tend to stay away from medication due to fear of side effects. I've talked to my family, my father is a reputed doctor but due to dogma around mental health he says that it's all in my head. What should I do