I have been sharing my room with 3 roommates. I am an architecture student and in my 4th year. It is already that we all are burdened with huge sum of work daily and reaching hostel makes me more tired and frustrated. I am a friendly person naturally but have lost good terms with roomies. They are jealous of my college performance and have a lot of problem with the fact that i am in a relationship with the topper of our batch. They are usually harsh with their behaviour and leave no corner to blame/accuse/hurt me anytime. I always wonder what have i actually done to them. I have spoken to them a lot of time about this matter but they have never tried to solve anything. I am tired of trying to make things okay. This destroys my mental peace and is hampering my mood and mind and work. I am living in a negative surrounding and still trying to figure out my mistake. It just never works! I am becoming depressed and upset. I want to be peppy again. Please help.
Doctor Answers (1) on Negative thoughts
It appears that you are burnt out with stress caused by overwork. Jealousy, envy etc are normal human emotions (normal if it does not exceed the limit). You on your part should try to be more diplomatic with your room mates. It is quite possible that in your irritable mood you may also be unknowingly provoking them to hurt you. Why don't you invite all three of them for a treat or lunch or dinner(at your expense) on some occasion like your birthday or Daserah. Plan it out in such a way that all four of you freak out like little kids and enjoy yourselves. Then you all can also visit some ancient temple and spend some time there. Take some group photographs. And then when everyone is relaxed you may give each of them a small gift/memento such as a key chain or ear rings or whatever that they will keep for remembrance; gently tell them that they should each forgive you if you had at anytime inadvertently hurt their feelings. Be sincere about it. Maybe you are on the right side. I'm not saying that you had done anything against them. But still, in any relationship, there is the other side to consider. We all hurt one another unknowingly; so there is nothing wrong if you do this. See how their hearts melt, and how happy the four of you would be. Secondly, you should learn to cope with stress. Overwork will take a toll on you. Sleep atleast for 6-8 hours everyday. Practice Pranayama in open fresh air. Do yoga or atleast go for a morning or evening walk. If you do not know yoga you can consider the gym. Learn the art of meditation. And then see the difference in yourself. As a support you may take one tablet of multivitamin with multiminerals everyday after breakfast. These tablets should consist Vitamin A,D,K,E, B-Complex, and also minerals like iron, copper, zinc etc. Ask your doctor and he will help in this regard. You have also mentioned that you are taking Vitamin B12. Check for Vitamin D and Hemoglobin levels, and also your thyroid function status. The deficiency of all these can make you feel depressed. Since I do not think that your are clinically depressed you may try simple remedies like Homeopathy for the lethargy and dullness you are facing. If all these measures do not work, you may speak to a psychiatrist in person.
Regular exercise, regular pranayama, and regular meditation will bring about tremendous change in your life and you will bounce back again.
You are fast reaching towards the end of your course. Its only the question of time and how diplomatically you manage the next few months. Do not worry.. this is just a passing phase. And after college, you might end up missing your room mates... Smile
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