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Need a consultation on maritial life
I am married since 15 years but the love in my life is not there since 4/5 years. Now i am in an extra maritial affair whom I am unable to get over. I have 2 kids and I dont want to break my family. How can I forget my affair and be loyal to family?
Answers (20)
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Now you're able see the two men in comparison...you have learned something important
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love your family with an open heart
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negotiate with your needs
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It's understandable that you're caught in a difficult situation. Here are some steps you can take to address your feelings and move forward:
* Acknowledge your feelings: Don't try to suppress your emotions. Allow yourself to feel the pain, guilt, and confusion.
* Seek professional help: A therapist can provide guidance and help you understand the underlying reasons for your actions.
* Communicate with your spouse: Be honest about your feelings and the challenges you're facing in your marriage.
* Set boundaries with your affair partner: Limit contact and create distance to break the cycle of emotional dependency.
* Focus on your family: Spend quality time with your spouse and children, and reconnect with the love and bond you share.
* Practice self-care: Engage in activities that bring you joy and help you manage stress.
* Be patient with yourself: Healing takes time. Don't expect to change overnight.
Remember, you're not alone. Many people struggle with infidelity and find ways to rebuild their lives. With time, effort, and support, you can overcome this challenge and create a fulfilling future for yourself and your family.
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take my consultation I will help you to come out this problem
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I really appreciate you for being vocal about your complex situation and to seek help for the same. However, I really think that you must work on your priorities like your family and kids, because as a father and as a husband you have to be there for them.
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I strongly suggest you take the help of a professional psychological counsellor or a marriage counsellor for the same
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You can try family counselling or couple counselling. In mean time you can try néw hobbies.
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connect
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Hi! I understand the situation you went into an extramarital affair...but the consequence will not help you continue... Because you very well know it is a temporary relationship.....
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Kindly consult with a Psychologist to overcome the same
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Divert your mind in your career, Join Power yoga & Meditation for self control...start loving your family... join in social service group....
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It can be well solved by counseling sessions with an expert counseling psychologist.
It's all about your life...be serious and consult an expert asap.
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I have been working as a Homeopathic Psychiatrist and Counseling Psychologist for the last 17 years. You can contact me through an online appointment for further assistance
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It's your own creation and regrets.
If u wish to cutoff affair NO ONE CAN STOP it's only your internal wish ... Don't want to leave but pretending to leave ..
Consider if same is done by your spouse what will be your emotions ...
It's cheating own self with such creation ..
It's happens when a purposeless life is lived.
My words are always bit harsh with reality and showing mirror to people. That's why I say don't just LIVE life but LEAD life.
Best wishes
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spend sometime with yourself in doing analysis ..answer lies in you.
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can connect me if u wish to see clear mirror reflection
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End the affair: Cut all contact and commit to stopping it permanently.
Self-reflection: Identify reasons for the affair and take accountability.
Focus on marriage: Rebuild intimacy through time, effort, and open communication.
Seek counseling: Attend individual and couples therapy to address issues.
Be honest carefully: Disclose the truth if needed, with professional guidance.
Strengthen family bonds: Spend quality time with your spouse and kids.
Commit to growth: Work on yourself emotionally, mentally, and physically.
Be patient: Rebuilding trust and love takes consistent effort over time.
Next Steps
Seek Professional Help: Book an appointment with a counselor or therapist (individual or couples) to guide your next steps.
Health Tips
DON'T:
Act Without a Plan: Avoid confessing impulsively without professional guidance, as it may cause unnecessary harm.
Expect Immediate Fixes: Do not assume things will return to normal quickly; healing takes time.
Blame or Justify: Avoid blaming your spouse or external circumstances for your actions.
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Hi,
Navigating the complexities of an extramarital affair, especially after 15 years of marriage and with children involved, can be profoundly challenging. First, itâs essential to reflect on the underlying issues that led to the disconnect in your marriage. Open communication with your spouse can be a crucial step in rebuilding intimacy and understanding. Consider seeking professional help, such as couples therapy, to address the emotions and desires that have arisen from your affair. Focus on your children and the shared moments that bring joy to your family life, reinforcing the commitment you have made to them. Engaging in hobbies, strengthening friendships, and setting personal goals can also help redirect your energy away from the affair. Ultimately, committing to being present and investing in your marriage can create a stronger emotional bond, allowing you to let go of the past and invest in a fulfilling family life.
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consult
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seek help
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Hi,It seems you are a lot of stress having difficulty in taking a decision.If you don't want to break your family you have to take sacrifice and forget about the affair.You have to work hard to bring back the romantic life with your husband.Open communication with your husband can be helpful.You can consult a marriage counselor for professional help
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Consult
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Hi dear concerned, Consider seeking help from a therapist to work through your emotions and reconnect with your family. Therapy can provide guidance on ending the affair, rebuilding love in your marriage, and finding ways to fulfill your needs within your family life.
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Hi
Thanks for reaching out. You have been married since fifteen years but you have not felt connection with your partner since four to five years. You have two kids and you want to be loyal to your family. Consult a psychologist and explain about your marriage and extra marital affair. It is important to know if you are happy in the marriage and how you are treated by your partner. You can take a decision that is good for you and your well-being and you should not come under societal pressure. It is also alright if you want to go back to your partner forget about the affair and be loyal to your family. Consult a psychologist and explain about your situation in detail. A psychologist will guide you on how you can analyse the situation with a calm state of mind. Try to avoid feeling guilty about extra marital affair.
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Consult a psychologist.
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Contact me for counselling sessions. Along with counselling I can suggest natural foods to calm the mind.
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I'm truly sorry you're going through this challenging time. It's understandable to feel conflicted when trying to balance your emotions and commitments to your family.
Here are a few steps that might help:
Self-Reflection: Take some time to understand the underlying reasons for your feelings and the desire for an affair. Identifying these can provide clarity on what changes you might need.
Open Communication: Consider having an honest conversation with your spouse about how you're feeling. Sometimes, addressing issues together can rekindle the love and connection in your relationship.
Seek Support: Talking to a therapist can provide a safe space to explore your emotions and develop strategies to strengthen your marriage and personal well-being.
Focus on Your Family: Remind yourself of the love and bonds you share with your children and spouse. Engaging in family activities can help reinforce these connections.
Set Boundaries: If possible, create boundaries that help you distance yourself from the affair and focus on rebuilding trust and loyalty within your family.
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Remember, seeking professional help can make a significant difference. I'd be happy to support you through this journey. Please consider booking a session with me so we can work together on finding the best path forward for you and your family.
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Feel free to reach out if youâd like to discuss this further in a session. Together, we can develop a plan tailored to your needs. Take care, and remember that support is available.
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seems like you’re facing a difficult emotional conflict. Being in a marriage where love and connection have faded over time can be painful, and it’s understandable that you sought comfort outside. However, it’s important to remember that the decisions you make now will affect both you and your family.Reflect on What’s Missing in Your Marriage: Try to identify the specific aspects of love, connection, or understanding that have been lacking. Is it something that can be rebuilt?
Communicate with Your Partner: If possible, have an honest conversation with your spouse. They may be more understanding than you expect, and together, you might be able to address the issues affecting your relationship.
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Speaking with a counselor or therapist can provide a safe space to explore your feelings and work through any guilt, confusion, or attachment issues you’re experiencing.
Health Tips
connect
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Ms. Seerat K Dhillon
Psychologist
8 yrs exp
Mumbai
This is a complex and emotionally challenging situation. What you need to do is first acknowledge and understand your feelings, you need to reflect on what family means to you, reconnect with your core values and commitments made to your family. You need to process your emotions and also work on yourself, in order, to understand yourself better as sometimes dissatisfaction in relationship also mirrors unresolved personal issues.
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Kindly, consult a psychologist that can help you navigate through this.
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Dr. Gargi Bansal (PhD)
Counselling Psychologist
18 yrs exp
Noida
I think you have arrived at the solution by saying that you do not want to break your family. So now sit back and think what you should do to makeup your family..distance yourself from the affair and being more caring and responsible for your family..try to get more involved in your ur family by giving them more time.. be responsible and mature..
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Consult a professional
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Ms. Hema Sampath
Counselling Psychologist
18 yrs exp
Bangalore
I understand your situation and the pain in you..
Appreciate your interest and honesty here..
Would suggest you to consult a psychological Counselor to understand yourself better and to overcome this issue..
You can reach me for an online consultation..
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Ms. Neha Sachdev
Psychologist
11 yrs exp
Delhi
Hi
It is very normal to feel that love is missing in the marriage after 15 years. There would have been incidents too which made you take the step towards extra marital. Marriage doesn’t work on its own. It has to be worked out well.. at some point in life we stop expressing our emotions to our spouse, expecting that they would understand our silence/ anger. But it doesn’t work that way. Until expressed, the other person will not know what you are going through. Extra marital would have created more distance in your marriage since the other partner would have listened to you and made u feel loved. Marriage is exhausting yet the results are beautiful later. Any relationship would need that working out. Soon the extra marital would gradually also come to an end if we do not work on it.
Also importance of marriage is understood only when children are not a part of your life- when they would start their life. The importance of spouse at that time comes to light. If things are bitter n is prolonged, that comfort of spouse being around will makes things difficult in future.
And if relationships needs that extra working out, then why not put those efforts with spouse rather than on extra marital. Efforts put towards the marriage will give u security n comfort which will not happen with the extra marital. Am sure you would have thought it through. But the glitch here is how to do it .
Next Steps
Take help from a counsellor to cope up with marriage.
They would suggest you things that u and ur spouse need to work for each other. For your better future.
Health Tips
Connect.
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Ms. Rizwana Parvin T M
Counselling Psychologist
7 yrs exp
Coimbatore
Hi, I am glad you wish to end the extra marital affair and not disrupt the family.which by itself is a good start from your end. The root cause for your problem is lack of attraction and love with your wife. Create a date night, take her out to dinner weekly once just you and her. And both of you groom yourself for the occasion. And during date both should enjoy the occasion and never get into complaining or start the blame game.
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Consult me , I can help you get better in your relationship with your wife and kids. we have to work building and bonding relationships.
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Ms. Shweta Parekh
Counselling Psychologist
17 yrs exp
Mumbai
This is a situation where most people feel extremely stuck as they feel torn between things they have to do versus things they love to do. Quite common in that sense. Unfortunately in relationships when with a partner the emotional intimacy is lacking our heart could gravitate towards a place where we feel loved and seen and acknowledged. And this dilemma becomes the same as having to choose between these two difficult situations. Given that you have kids and have a longing to work on your family life seek a good marriage counseling to reconnect and bring a repair in your emotional intimacy with your partner so that you can feel the love that you once felt 4-5 years earlier.
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Expressed the distance you feel with your partner and be curious about his/her feelings and offer them with the opportunity to seek professional marriage counseling
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