Motivation, anxiety, burnout. There.

I always struggled with going to school since I was a kid. I even thought as a kid that dying was better than going there so I tried to drink the Mortein (mosquito repellent) liquid because it said poison on it (but didn't in the end). I was always afraid of teachers even my family. Never felt like I could trust anybody or tell anybody what is going on with me. It never even crossed my mind that I needed to talk to people, It was like I didn't have thoughts in my mind I always tried to avoid people. School was hard. But it became worse in 12th standard. I wasn't able to keep up with everything and was struggling. Toward the end of the year even going to school was hard. I felt really scared in class like everyone was watching me, I felt like I couldn't move or do anything. If I didn't pay attention in class I would get in trouble with teachers and I was very afraid of them. After finishing school next year I didn't go to college. I thought that the same thing would happen there.