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Mental Stress

Hello Doc, I am a 27yr old married IT professional and my biggest problem is stress and I know the reason also I guess. I am staying almost alone because my husband has a travelling job and hardly stays 10 days a month with me which leads to loneliness and anger. And I don't feel talking to people much. I have some friends but no one can help me in coping my loneliness, because I am close to my husband only. I don't like going out alone. Its like obsession. I am married for 4.5 years and I had not stayed a single day alone before marriage and i dont want anyone in replacement of him (parents, sibling, friends). We are also planning to start our family now but because of his extreme travelling, the plan is not working out. Kindly help to overcome my stress!!!
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Doctor Answers (2) on Mental Stress

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Dr. Anjendra R Targe Pune | Addiction Psychiatrist
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Hi!

Thanks for sharing your problem. IT professionals and a stressful life have almost become synonymous. I understand your situation. What you need to do, is take a break for a couple of days from everything, with your husband. Open your heart out to your husband, express your concerns, discuss your loing term plans together. See if it's a possibility for husband to chnage his job profile or location.

Having a baby, comes with a lot if responsibility. Ask if your husband is ready to share that responsibility with you. If mutual discussion aren't helping, get an objective third person's opinion in the form of a Couple's counseling.

Meanwhile, you need to garner and invest some time in discovering or rediscovering some activities that you might be able to do, to the most of the time that you have, when he's not around. The world is full of opportunities today. Make use of your strenghts an interests, and find something makes you feel productive and good about yourself.

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Mrs. Chhaya Jain Mumbai | Counselling Psychologist
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Hello. First of all I would like to appreciate the level of awareness you have of your problem. Secondly, I can understand what you are going through,...........even after marrying the person of your choice and and the person you love so much ,you can't get enough of him. You are missing him so much that now it is coming in the form of frustration and probably anger. The routine of your life seems to be monotonous know. I can understand no one can replace or take the place of your husband. This is slowly killing you from inside. Probably you didn't see that coming. See ....in life we make choices according to what come in front of us and our preferences. The choices that we make doesn't seem to work later on....this leads to frustration. But one must understand and respect our own choice and decisions. So what you have to see is ........,how to make it work with logical understanding. What you have to see is the kind of choice you have now and how you can take a decision about it. There are a few choices in front of you. * either you leave your job and travelling with him . * or he can leave his job and find something so that you live together. * postpone the plan of making a baby till you are not ready for the situation. * make a baby and your loneliness might be taken care of. * and a few more such choices that you can make. OR ........you can ACCEPT the situation you are in .......RESPECT the decision and choices that you have made earlier for your self. Understand that you can still be Happy and lead a life without regrets. Also understand that cutting your self from the outside world will only make things worse for you. As you said you have family and friends that may be waiting for you to share and live a happy life. See how you can ....and what you can......you have the POWER.
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