Issue of low self-esteem. Me, etcetera.

Hello. It seems by your description that you are either an introvert person or are experiencing social anxieties. These anxieties are faced when we meet unfamiliar people or find ourselves in an unfamiliar environment. Because we find this envt. challenging in terms of social performance. We assume that people expect us to be socially bold and outward but we know deep down that we are of reserved nature and therefore hesitate to open up. This builds expectations and we somehow fail to meet these demands. The sense of failure develops and we feel inferior to others. We compare ourselves to others and their personalities and feel disappointed that we can never become like them. We feel people can never like us and we feel embarassed because of our behaviors or personalities. To cure this, you first need to understand that your personality needs change and you have to believe in the fact that there is a lot of scope for change. There is lot that you can do. You just lack certain skills which makes you feel anxious and uncomfortable among others. These feelings and thoughts that you have shared are outcomes of these smills that you lack. To develop these skills, you need to work on yourself bit by bit. Assess the situations which make you feel anxious on a daily basis and rate them from mild to severe. Learn to expose yourself in these situations and develop  behaviors that may reduce your anxiety. PRACTICE and REPEAT, and you will see the results witht time. Better you take the help of a clinical psychologist or a counseling psychologist for fast and guided changes.

Practice self-esteem enhancing exercises and develop social skills. Consult a clinical or a counseling psychologist.