Headache, anxiety, self harming. Cares.

I love a guy. He keeps ignoring me. Doesn't gives me time. I feel insecure as he is married but says that he will leave his wife. I can't live without him. I also have issues with my mom since childhood. Regarding this guy after he ignores doesn't pays attention towards me. I feel very sad and depressed. I feel constant headache. Which ranges from severe to mild depending upon situations. I feel like life would have been easy I would have died. I have tried harming myself quite a lot of times. I feel like having some sort of problem physically so that he might notice that I am suffering because of him. My homely environment is not good and this guy keeps hurting me again and again. He doesn't calls or texts often. I feel anxious. If he doesn't calls I go mad. It's hard for me to concentrate on my studies. I feel helpless as I love him a lot but he doesn't cares.