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Fear to go school
Good morning doctor
My son is 10 years old since one month (January 2024)he has not been going to school properly and is complaining of fear of exams which was never complained about before. Everyday exactly by the school time, he starts saying I'm feeling scared and starts crying and skips the school. Apart from that he does all the chores well. He is an introvert and doesn't open up at all. We are very stressed out in this regard and worried about his education. Even if we hit him he stands stubborn and doesn't move ahead. When we question him is there anything that's bothering you in school or by anyone, he says no. We have spoken to the school principal and the teachers. They are not so strict and friendly towards the children. One thing we are triggered by is that this didn't happen before at all. Even if he didn' t prepare well for the exam, he used to attend without any fear and never skipped the exam or the school. Looking forward hearing from you.
Thanks
Regards
Harsha
Answers (13)
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It seems to be performance anxiety which leads to fear of exams.
It needs to be addressed with counseling sessions and homeopathic medicine if required.
You need an expert Psychologist who is a good homeopathic physician.
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i have been working as a Homeopathic Psychiatrist for the last 17 years. you can contact me through an online appointment for further assistance.
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Could be bullying
Molestation
Abuse of any kind
And lack of expression and unsure of how to communicate
Trust issues
Need to have a journal writing therapy
Story based psychodrama
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Connect
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Hi
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stress management
focus on recreational activities
study plan as per child' capacity
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hi
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You mentioned that your son is introverted. He is stubborn even if you hit him. Both these make it quite clear that he is not very communicative with you, your family members and teachers. This lack of communication may be preventing you, your family members and also those in his school, from understanding his current state of mind except that he is "scared" of school and exams. The need is to know from him and through mental health assessment what is driving him to the current pattern of behavior. Under the current situation, it is very unlikely that you will be able to generate meaningful communication with him. Hitting him will just dry up most of the possible communication channels from opening up. Under these circumstances, and since I feel that he needs to engage in free and genuine communication, I would suggest you to consult a psychologist with whom he is most likely to have more free communication. You will be able to understand your son's state of mind through the psychologist and seek advice on reliable measures that you need to take while dealing with him. These may even include consulting a psychiatrist, probably for anxiety, and medications, sometimes. It could also be that he will start behaving normally just with some therapeutic counselling sessions by the psychologist. But, overall, there seems to be a need to seek professional help.
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Hi, Consult with a school counselor or a child psychologist
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Hello,
We understand your concern and it's very genuine. In such situations, if there is a sudden shift in behaviour it means the child is getting bothered by something which he is uncomfortable to share with authority figures like parents, teachers or principal. A child Psychologist can help to decode his emotions with different assessments. Therapies like CBT, behavioural therapy, and narrative can help to improve his current situation as well. So try not to worry about it, as it is possible for him to recover from the fear of exams.
Next Steps
Consult a child Psychologist for assessments and start with short term therapy plan
Health Tips
Have a positive communication with your child, understand his emotions and what he is trying to say. Make sure he doesn't have the pressure of getting particular marks and not comparing himself to others
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No long answers
Its anxiety just need a friendly approach to figure out why
Consult for same
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Hi
Thanks for reaching out. Your son is ten years old and since one month he has not been going to school properly. He says he is afraid, he starts crying, and he skips school. This has not happened earlier. When you asked him if there is anything that is bothering him he said no. You have spoken to the school principal and teachers, but you feel it is not of much help. Your son could be going through something and he is not opening up. Hitting is going to make him feel more anxious. You mentioned he is an introvert, how many friends does he have in school? Your son will require a warm and comfortable space to talk about his feelings and what he is going through. Your son will need counselling sessions. If he is doing chores well it is good. Your son is probably going through a phase and you can think of giving him some space. If he likes to do chores let him indulge in it. Let him keep his mind occupied in an activity he enjoys.
Your son will require counselling sessions. With the help and guidance of a psychologist your son will feel better.
Next Steps
Consult a psychologist
Health Tips
Contact me for counselling sessions. Along with counselling I can suggest natural foods to calm the mind.
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Dear Harsha ji,
The sudden change is behaviour pattern is having definite cause behind. Some times scolding by teacher, comparing marks with students, poor marks in any exam / subject, teasing by co-students, if traveling by school bus / auto the behaviour of crew, or heavy study material. In general psycho terms it's scolionophobia however if it's all of sudden some important factor we may be missing to identify.
Need to be friend and win confidence to get insight. If it's fear - fear of what ?, Confidence building in child to dela with that fear with parental support is must. School administration and friend circles plays important role in such situation.
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if desired so a drop of week or fortnight would ne ideal. this will enable child and parents to understand issues and also child will feel missing element from life. some positive stories about school and students would help to regain interest.
Health Tips
Avoid leaving child alone. keep eye on free time activity / behaviour and keep away the social media.
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Hello Harsha,
Thank you for your query. I feel that the child might have faced something in the school. It could be embarrassment. Someone must have passed a comment or something where the child is feeling this way and doesn't know how to deal with. Sometimes children hide things from their parents thinking what my parents would do.
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Don't worry, you can consult a good psychologist or a counselor who can understand the situation in-depth and help with this.
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Mr. Sadananda Mondal (PT)
Psychologist
5 yrs exp
Kolkata
Talk to your son........It is Performance Anxiety.
Or
May be his friends or class mate raging him.You need to talk with your son in details.
Similar case I solved.....5 months ego.
9 th class meritorious student was ragging by another classmate gang for smoke Cigarettes. After 10 days discussion he tell me classmate gang threads him.After that his guardians contact with school office.Now he went to school with no complaint.
Next Steps
Ask your son what happened?
Health Tips
Try to contact your son's school close friend.Counseling is helpful in this case.
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Ms. Chellam Narendiran
Psychologist
10 yrs exp
Coimbatore
Hi,
I can understand your concerns. Sudden change in his behaviour could be other reasons like bullying or peer pressure or could be some small things to. Give sometime for him to settle and talk with him casually.
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You can consider taking him to the child psychologist.
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Ms. Yuktika Pilania
Counselling Psychologist
1 yrs exp
Jaipur
Hi, it can be scary to see our child in distress and afraid. There are several reasons he might be afraid, which needs to be explored in a therapy setting. At times, our child might not be comfortable or might not know how to communicate with parents, in times like this therapy can be helpful. I personally use a combination of techniques including art and play, to help understand what is the root cause of the fear and then work on overcoming it.
Whar you can do is, reassure the child that no matter what the marks, you will still love him and are there for him.
Next Steps
Reach out to a therapist
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reassure the child that no matter what the marks, you will still love him and are there for him.
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