Anxiety, depression, panic, sleepless.

Married since 11 yrs. have 8 yo daughter. Complicated relationships, in the distant & recent past, leading me into chronic depression, have consulted docs earlier as well, however never had long lasting relief. Presently I am facing loneliness, depression, grief, sadness, recently feeling panic attacks, heart pounding, high pulse rate, even body shaking, overthinking, mood swings, distracted from family life, work life, sleeplessness, depending on liquor more and more + medicines prescribed, helps in short term and I am back to square 1 once I am awake. Sleeping through the day and night seems like only remedy..feels like better if I die..very very unhappy in life, neither here nor there. I used to be regular at gym workouts, however due to corona everything shut down and due to rainy weather in pune, unable to even go out and walk. Yoda/ meditation/ home workouts don't interest me and i am gaining weight due to all this situation. Need urgent help!!!