Hi... What we repress, remains active in our subconscious/unconscious mind and impacts our thoughts, emotions, and behaviours, while we believe we are over it. In your case, I believe these bouts of anger are a sign of an underlying conflict. Something that you grew up struggling, suffering with. Tried very hard to forget it and even repressed it. Your present environment is acting as a trigger/ immediate stressor which is eliciting a psycho-emotional response pattern, roots of which typically lies in one's childhood. It is not going to be easy to overcome or recover completely from this pattern but consistent efforts in a therapeutic setting, will enable you to understand, acknowledge, and reduce the toxicity that you experience every time. Amount of change depends upon your commitment and willingness to change what is not serving you now. Be it a value, a principle, an ideology, a job, a relationship or even a lifestyle.
Next Steps
Consult a Psychologist.
CBT along with Lifestyle Changes and Interpersonal Guidance and Counselling is required.
Health Tips
Mr. Gunjan Maithil
Senior Psychologist
Cell: nine six seven one three zero three one three four
Website: https://gunjanmaithil.wixsite.com/therapy
App: http://wix.to/fECHB08?ref=cl