Hello dear, The description provided by you here is suggestive of an ongoing negative emotional and mood state. Sadness of mood, lack of satisfaction, frustration, anger-aggresion, self destructive ideas etc all point towards a significant depressive episode. Your relationship break has possibly triggered this episode, but now there is a need to treat this episode to prevent damage to mental and physical health. However please be well assured that your condition can be helped with proper guidance and treatment. You are likely to require psychological intervention and /or medication to come out of this state. Hope this helps you. Best wishes for your health and future.