Hello Friend, Good that you are seeking a help here. I can understand your suitation. Holding such emotional disturbance within is not adviced. As body and mind are interlinked, it will slowly affect your physically healthy as well.
Having experienced that such emotional disturbances are affecting your day-to-day life and relationships, why don't you take the next logical step to address it by taking a professional help.
Be positive. It's an addressable issue, if you are ready to adopt few changes in your lifestyle routines, few self therapies, excersise, along with counseling support.
Next Steps
Feel free to reach out to me online through Practo for further detailed evaluation and suitable recommendation. Be positive. You will be alright soon.