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A thought my father can't get over
For a few years, I used to teach a student.She was a female student who was at that time 11 years old.She was very jolly in nature and used to talk to my father a lot.But last year I was not able to teach her anymore as she lied a lot. Her mother didn't like that.She also used a lot of harsh words as I decided to stop teaching her. But my father was really upset about her behaviour. He is a cardiac patient.It has been a year since that incident happened. Still, my father remembers it and always complains that he is having sleep issues.Actually, he loves kids a lot.He sometimes just misses the kid and whenever he remembers that mother's behaviour he becomes upset or angry sometimes he is having sleep issues.Actually he falls in sleep but the sleep is not lasting.What should we do?
Answers (7)
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Your father seems emotionally hurt and disappointed by the sudden change in the child and her mother’s behavior. Because he is sensitive and loves children, the incident stayed in his mind and became a source of stress. This emotional stress is now showing as disturbed sleep and recurring thoughts.
What can help:
He needs emotional reassurance and closure. Talk to him calmly, validate his feelings, and help him understand that the child’s behavior was not his fault. Encourage him to focus on present relationships and positive activities. Gentle relaxation before sleep, reducing overthinking at night, and engaging in hobbies or social interaction can help. If sleep problems continue, consulting a psychologist or doctor is advisable, especially considering his heart condition.
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Hi.. will need further history regarding the same to advise appropriately. Medical reasons can also cause above problems. Consult online for treatment
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All the problems are needed to be dealt separately,if you are teaching a student,and not willing to teach after certain disturbing point,thats completely your call,cause you are the one who is going to deal with mental suffocation after you again start teaching that girl against your own will,anyways approach and dedcation to teach her will not remain same,regarding your father being upset,it’s an attachment thing,and it’s good that he only sometimes reminds you of this,and not having any emotional suffering,him having sleep issues can be due to his age,which is very common,that needed to be dealt with separate concern of his sleep,not blaming yourself for it
Next Steps
You need short term psychiatry consultation to clear out your doubts,once you are clear with your thought,you will able to live life peacefully
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This sounds like persistent emotional stress/grief triggering insomnia, worsened by his cardiac condition.
• Reassure and limit repeated discussions about the incident (they reinforce distress).
• Encourage daytime engagement with kids (grandchildren, volunteering) to replace the loss.
• Sleep hygiene: fixed sleep time, no daytime naps, avoid ruminating in bed.
• Relaxation at night (breathing, light music, prayer/meditation).
• If sleep issues persist >2–3 weeks or anger increases → consult a psychiatrist (short-term sleep meds + supportive therapy may help).
• Also review cardiac meds with his physician, as some affect sleep.
Early intervention is important given his heart condition.
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Hey, I understand the concern here. Sometimes these things happen, currently we need to focus more on his sleep issues as this is the utmost important thing.
For rest, more details will be required
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Please consult the Psychiatrist online or offline.
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Dr. Bansita Alkesh Patel
Psychiatrist
5 yrs exp
Vadodara
this appears to be an adjustment-related emotional stress in your father, triggered by loss, hurt feelings, and unresolved anger. His love for children and the abrupt ending likely affected him deeply. For a cardiac patient, disturbed sleep and emotional arousal are important to address early. Encourage him to express feelings rather than suppress them, practice sleep hygiene, relaxation, and light evening routines. Limit repeated discussions about the incident. If sleep disturbance, irritability, or rumination persist, a psychiatric consultation is advisable for brief therapy and, if needed, short-term medication to protect both mental and cardiac health.
Next Steps
Consult psychiatrist
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Kanika Sharda
General Physician
5 yrs exp
Delhi
I understand your concern, especially considering your fatherâs cardiac condition. It appears that the incident with the child and her mother has had an emotional impact on him. When a sensitive person, especially someone who is emotionally attached to children, experiences such a negative interaction, the mind may keep revisiting it. This can lead to emotional distress, irritability, and disturbed sleep even long after the event.
Difficulty maintaining sleep is commonly linked to unresolved emotional stress, anger, or sadness rather than a primary sleep disorder. Since your father already has a medical condition, it is important to address both his emotional wellbeing and sleep health.
Encouraging him to express his feelings, engaging him in positive activities involving children (if appropriate), practicing relaxation techniques before bedtime, and maintaining a calm sleep routine may help. If sleep disturbances and emotional distress continue, consulting a mental health professional can be beneficial to help him process these emotions and improve sleep quality. It would also be advisable to keep his treating physician informed. Hope this helps.
Next Steps
Consult a psychologist . Start trauma-focused therapy (like CBT or EMDR).
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