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Study issue
But there, doc I am a student preparing for competitive exam, financially dependent on parents, sir from the tm I started prep. I am facing "all or nothing" behaviour in sty!! Sir I feel like ifmy starting day was not productive as I thought. So I will feel this hugest urge to start sty van after some tm. Thing is I can't continue it like this. I will like some withdrawal anxiety in continuing sty like this, doc this is happening from last 3 years, I am depressed, I don't what to do, moreover sir in schl I was topper, so I hv high Stds nd I am really highly ambitious, but this is the issue I am facing from a very long tm nd due to ignoring this issue, now sir I am kinda suicidal nd my score touched lowest!!!
Answers (10)
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Hi, Consult a psychiatrist
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Hi
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hi
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"It is easy to believe we are each waves and forget we are also the ocean."
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Hi,
I understand. What you are experiencing reflects a pattern of intense internal pressure where expectations toward yourself have become heavier than your current capacity. When the mind operates in extremes—either “perfect” or “nothing”—even small disruptions can feel discouraging and may lead to avoidance. This is often how stress and self-demand begin to interact over time.
When this cycle continues for a longer period, it can affect mood, energy, and motivation, making even routine study feel emotionally draining. The sense of being stuck, along with self-critical thoughts, often develops gradually when rest, support, and emotional processing are missing alongside sustained academic effort. This is something that can be worked through with the right kind of support and structured guidance.
Given the level of distress you are describing, it is important to speak with a mental health professional or a trusted support person. Having that support can help you stabilise emotionally and gradually rebuild a healthier, more sustainable study rhythm—one that reduces pressure rather than adds to it.
Health Tips
Break study into very small “start points” such as opening the book, reading one paragraph, or simply arranging your notes.
Follow a “restart rule” instead of a “perfect day rule”—if the day doesn’t go as planned, gently restart without self-criticism.
Create a fixed, short daily structure with 2–3 small study sessions rather than long or flexible expectations.
Shift focus away from past performance and comparison, and anchor attention to today’s effort and consistency.
Practice grounding techniques like slow breathing or the 5-4-3-2-1 method when anxiety increases during study.
With small, consistent steps, you can gradually rebuild confidence and a steadier, more peaceful successful study rhythm.
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It seems to be anxiety and depression issues. It needs to be treated asap otherwise it may get complicated.
It can be well treated with counseling sessions and homeopathic medicine effectively and without any side effects.
It needs to be treated in a holistic approach for complete recovery.
You need an expert Psychologist who is a good homeopathic physician.
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I have been working as a Homeopathic Psychiatrist and Counseling psychologist for the last 17 years of experience. You can contact me through an online appointment for further assistance.
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Ms. Pooja Bhargava
Psychologist
10 yrs exp
Delhi
This is all-or-nothing thinking that makes you restart instead of continuing. Try accepting imperfect days and focus on small progress rather than a perfect start
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Consider talking to a psychologist since this pattern and low mood have been affecting you for a long time
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Ms. Smriti
Counselling Psychologist
18 yrs exp
Bangalore
Connect with psychologist
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connect
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consult
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Mr. S K KHAJA MYNUDDIN
Counselling Psychologist
1 yrs exp
Hyderabad
Hi, I hear how difficult this has been for you. The “all-or-nothing” pattern you’re describing is very common in students who are high achievers—it’s not a lack of ability, it’s a pattern that can be changed.
For now, don’t aim for perfect study days. Just start small—30–45 minutes is enough. Even a little consistency is better than stopping completely.
Also, since you mentioned feeling low and having suicidal thoughts, please don’t handle this alone. Try to speak to a psychologist or a trusted person in your life as soon as possible.
You’re not stuck forever—this can improve step by step.
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You already taken the first step by posting your concern
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But don't handle it alone
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Ms. Mansi Chaturvedi
Counselling Psychologist
1 yrs exp
New Delhi
Thank you for sharing this so honestly. What you’re going through is very real and more common than you think—especially among high achievers.
First, I want to say this clearly:
You are not lazy. You are stuck in a pattern.
And patterns can be changed.
What is happening with you?
You are experiencing “All-or-Nothing Thinking”:
“If my day doesn’t start perfectly → the whole day is wasted”
“If I can’t study properly → I’ll do it later”
“Later” keeps getting delayed → guilt → anxiety → avoidance
This creates a loop:
High expectations → small disruption → frustration → avoidance → guilt → low score → more pressure
You mentioned feeling suicidal, this is importance concern
, serious and you don’t have to handle this alone.
Please reach out to:
A trusted person (parent/friend)
A mental health professional nearby
Or a helpline in your area immediately if thoughts feel strong
Your life is much bigger than an exam.
Next Steps
What you need right now is NOT motivation, but strategy
1. Break the “Perfect Start” Myth
Instead of:“I’ll start properly later”
Shift to: “I’ll do just 10 minutes right now”
Even a bad start is better than no start
2. Use the “Reset Rule”
Tell yourself: “My day can restart anytime—not only in the morning.”
If Missed morning then Restart at 11 AM
Missed again then Restart at 2 PM
3. Minimum Target System
Set a non-negotiable minimum:
Study 20–30 minutes daily (no matter what)
This breaks the avoidance cycle
Health Tips
Please consider professional counselling/therapy.
This pattern has been there for 3 years, so guided support will help you break it faster.
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Ms. Lisha Khatri
Psychologist
4 yrs exp
Delhi
I’m really glad you reached out. What you’re describing is actually more common than you think, especially in students who have been high achievers and set very high expectations for themselves.
This “all-or-nothing” pattern can make even a slightly unproductive day feel like a complete failure, which then leads to avoidance, anxiety, and a cycle that becomes very hard to break over time. After a few years, it can start affecting mood, confidence, and even lead to thoughts like the ones you mentioned.
Next Steps
Right now, two things are important:
1. Your safety and support
If you are feeling suicidal or overwhelmed, please do not stay alone with these thoughts. Reach out to someone you trust (family, friend) or a mental health helpline in your area. You deserve support in this moment.
2. Understanding what’s happening
This is not a lack of ability or ambition. It’s more likely a combination of:
* Perfectionism
* Performance pressure
* Anxiety linked with studies
* Burnout over time
All of this is treatable with the right guidance.
Health Tips
What will help you moving forward:
* Breaking study goals into very small, achievable tasks instead of “perfect days”
* Learning how to manage the urge to avoid after a “bad start”
* Working on emotional regulation and negative self-talk
* Building consistency instead of intensity
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