Self conscious, low memory. Me run away.

From a really early age i was very shy type. i was afraid of diwali bombs and bursting balloons due to their sound. i was very obliging kind from an early age. when i was 7 yr old and nurse told me not to cry while giving injection, i did not cry, though i dud feel the suffocating pain. but i could control my tears at such an early age. when i was playing in the ground in another day (same age), i got hurt and i ran from the playground to home and nobody noticed me run away. my friends came searching for me only to find me at home. i feel i m always struggling to express myself in a better way vocally, i cant still give a 2-5minute long speech on extempore, say. in the job interviews i really get self conscious easily and i forget everything at the heat of the moment. this panic situations have started to show up in my life from undergraduate days. i used to feel that i havent prepared well but then this kind of situation became a usual habit. i have no confidence in my memory now.