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Regarding my 8.5y old son
Of late my 8.5y old son has become extremely erratic and doesn't listen to me at all.. extremely hyperactive and doesn't listen to me at all. If a person talks to him about something, he will answer or not answer completely different - whatever is going on in his mind.. irrespective of the question.. doesn't care about anything as such.
He is very aggressive, answering in anger every single thing...always in a bad mood... Addicted to the screen as well..
I am a working mother of 2 kids.. younger one being 3years old. Husband stays out of city. Kids are with nanny while I'm out. Nanny is strict but good. No problem with younger kid so far.
I have taken up working from home from next week. Kindly suggest what to do. Feeling very helpless.
Answers (10)
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It seems to be ADHD with ODD traits. The description you made above resembles many psychological changes.
It needs to be addressed asap otherwise it may get complicated.
It needs to be treated in a holistic approach for complete recovery.
It can be treated well with counseling sessions and homeopathic medicine effectively.
You need an expert psychologist who is a good homeopathic physician.
Homeopathic medicines do not have side effects and are not addictive. It's safe for your kid.
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I have been working as a Homeopathic Psychiatrist and Counseling Psychologist for the last 17 years. You can contact me through an online appointment for further assistance.
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It sounds like you are worried about your elder son's change in behaviour. Also you are noticing that he is spending too much time on screen and showing anger as well. It is natural for you to get worried for your beautiful son as you do not want him to struggle and want to help in whichever way possible.
It must be very taxing for you managing everything, from taking care of the kids, managing the house and also seeing if the nanny is doing her job well or not. I can only imagine how you are managing things currently without any support at this point.
I appreciate you reaching out for help as your emotional well being is very important for you to take care of everything.
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Reach out for your concerns
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Try to know the reason behind your son's anger and why he is spending a lot of time watching screen. Be very gentle and patient while talking even if he shows resistance.
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Your son may be struggling with emotional regulation, possibly due to stress or excessive screen time. Creating a clear, structured routine at home can provide predictability and help him feel more in control. Gradually limit screen time and introduce calming activities to help him wind down. Communicate with your nanny to ensure consistency in handling his behavior. When you’re home, set aside one-on-one time to connect and help him express his emotions. Positive reinforcement for good behavior can encourage better responses. Consider any emotional triggers, like stress or feelings of neglect, that might be influencing his actions.
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Dr. Renu Goyal (PhD)
Clinical Psychologist
18 yrs exp
Noida
It sounds like your son is going through a challenging phase, and given your circumstances, his behavior may be linked to several factors, including emotional distress, lack of structured engagement, or even underlying attention-related issues. With his father away and you being busy with work, he might be feeling a need for more connection and attention, which could be manifesting as hyperactivity, defiance, or aggression. His screen addiction may also be impacting his mood, focus, and emotional regulation.
To help him, try establishing a consistent routine with clear expectations for behavior, study, and screen time. Gradually reduce screen exposure by introducing engaging alternatives like outdoor play, board games, or creative activities. Since youâre starting to work from home, prioritize one-on-one bonding time, even if itâs just 15â20 minutes of dedicated, distraction-free interaction daily. Positive reinforcementâpraising good behavior rather than focusing on negative actionsâcan also work wonders. Encourage him to express emotions in healthier ways, like journaling, storytelling, or physical activities. If his aggression and inattentiveness persist, consider consulting a child psychologist to rule out conditions like ADHD or emotional stress. Remember, consistency, patience, and emotional reassurance will be key in helping him feel more secure and balanced. You're not alone in thisâyou're doing your best, and thatâs what matters!
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seeking support from a therapist or counselor
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Ms. Hema Sampath
Counselling Psychologist
18 yrs exp
Bangalore
Maybe, he is seeking attention, love and care... Spend some quality time with him while you are at home... I understand it is difficult to handle 2 children alone..
Still, do not get angry at him..
Maybe he is missing your time and you..
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Ms. Pooja Gupta
Counselling Psychologist
8 yrs exp
Delhi
Hi,
It's understandable to feel overwhelmed in this situation, especially as a working mother managing two children. Your son's erratic behavior could be influenced by various factors, including changes in routine, screen time, or possibly even the absence of his father. Firstly, creating consistent routines at home can provide structure and security for him. Since youâre working from home, try to allocate specific times for focused interaction, engaging activities, or even quiet time together to strengthen your bond. Setting clear boundaries around screen time is also essential; try to establish screen-free hours where he can engage in other activities like playing, reading, or crafting. It might also be beneficial to encourage open communicationâlet him express his feelings and frustrations without fear of reprimand, which can help reduce his aggression. Consider consulting with a paediatrician or child psychologist who can assess his behavior and provide tailored advice. Remember to take care of yourself as well; seeking support from friends or family can lighten your load and help you feel less isolated.
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consult
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seek help
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Mr. Gunjan Maithil
Psychologist
13 yrs exp
Bangalore
Hi... The way you have explained it, some of his behaviors appear similar to ADHD symptoms. Please get him assessed by a specialist. This is not a medical diagnosis, only a suggestion to consult the concerned professional. For your own mental health support and guidance you may consult a Psychologist.
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Consult a Developmental-Behavioral Pediatrician or a Psychiatrist or a Psychologist who specializes in children with ADHD.
Consult a Psychologist for yourself.
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Mr. Gunjan Maithil
Senior Psychologist
Cell: nine six seven one three zero three one three four
Website: https://gunjanmaithil.wixsite.com/therapy
App: http://wix.to/fechb08?ref=cl
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Ms. Smriti
Counselling Psychologist
18 yrs exp
Bangalore
Reduce Screen Time – Implement strict screen limits and encourage outdoor activities.
Quality Time – Spend dedicated time with him, even if it’s just 30 minutes a day.
Set up a predictable routine to give him a sense of stability.
Emotional Support – Encourage open conversations about his feelingSeek Professional Help – If symptoms persist, a child psychologist can assess behavioral concerns.
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consult
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connect
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Sanjana Purdhani
Psychologist
2 yrs exp
Delhi
Thank you for sharing your concerns. Itâs evident how deeply you care about your sonâs well-being and the effort youâre putting in as a working mother of two. Managing a household, work, and two children, especially with your husband living away, can be challenging, and itâs understandable to feel helpless at times.
Your sonâs behaviorâhyperactivity, aggression, difficulty listening, and screen addictionâmight be his way of expressing underlying emotions or unmet needs. Children at this age often struggle to articulate their feelings, which can come out as behavioral changes. This does not mean something is "wrong" with him; instead, it might be a signal that he needs support in navigating his emotions or adjusting to certain aspects of his environment.
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Dedicate Focused Time Spend 15-20 minutes daily engaging in activities your son enjoys (e.g., building blocks, drawing, or simple games). This creates a safe space for him to feel heard and strengthens your bond. Gradually Limit Screen Time Start by setting specific hours for screen use and replace it with engaging alternatives, like puzzles or outdoor play. Involve him in creating a âno-screenâ routine to give him a sense of ownership. Teach Calm-Down Techniques Practice simple breathing exercises together (e.g., inhale for 4 counts, exhale for 6) when he is calm, so he can use them during moments of anger or frustration. Set Clear and Consistent Rules Create a predictable routine with fixed times for meals, play, study, and relaxation. Use a visual schedule or charts to make expectations clear and easy to follow. Collaborate with the Nanny Discuss these strategies with the nanny to ensure consistency when youâre not around. Encourage her to reinforce positive behavior with praise and redirection instead of strict corrections.
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Replace âNoâ with Redirection: Instead of saying âDonât be aggressive,â say, âLetâs try using kind words.â This keeps the conversation constructive. Reward Positive Efforts: Acknowledge small wins with praise or a sticker chart for tasks like following rules or completing activities. Stay Flexible: Adjust strategies based on what works best for him. Every child is unique, so trial and error is part of the process. Take Breaks Yourself: Ensure youâre not burning out. A calm and centered parent can respond better to challenging situations.
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