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I am married for 10 years.since marriage thease are the things I am facing
1.not allowing me to talk with anyone and vice versa.
2.even not allowed to go for walking to reduce weight after two kids .
3.he does not mingle with me and treats his mother as his partner.
4.getting contacts of all the persons whom I am not in contact with for atleast 15 years and defaming me.
5.treats me as a slave.
6.always having some fear that I will go out of control.that fear turns out into anger.
7.after hurting me for each and everytime getting happiness.
8.before physical harrasment was there after complaining to police it got reduced.
Please help me I don't know how to get out of it and he is not ready to leave me.day by day torture is increasing.
Answers (13)
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Thank you for bravely opening up. What you’ve described is extremely painful, and it is not your fault. You are enduring a prolonged and deeply harmful situation that qualifies as emotional and psychological abuse, and in the past, even physical abuse. As a doctor and counseling psychologist, I want you to know that your feelings are valid—and you do not deserve this.
Let’s walk through your situation and what you can do from here:
You are experiencing chronic emotional trauma. This can lead to:
• Severe anxiety and panic
• Low self-worth
• Chronic stress that may affect your sleep, digestion, weight, and mental clarity
• Fear-based living, where you’re constantly on edge or emotionally frozen
This is not a normal marriage. Controlling who you talk to, isolating you, mocking you, refusing affection, and treating you like a “slave” are all classic markers of coercive control—a form of domestic abuse. You’re also on medication for anxiety (Etizola), which is often prescribed when a person is under long-term psychological distress.
• This is not love or protection. This is control and domination.
• You have the right to live a free, dignified, emotionally safe life—not a life where you’re silenced or mistreated.
• The fact that you had to involve the police in the past means the abuse is serious and has already crossed boundaries.
Please Remember:
• You are not alone.
• You are not weak for staying this long—it takes immense strength to survive abuse.
• You can rebuild your life on your terms—and I will help guide you if you want support on every step.
You are already incredibly strong for speaking out. Now it’s time to take the next step—for your peace, your freedom, and your future.
Next Steps
Consult with me for a one on one
Health Tips
Steps You Can Take Now:
1. Build a Safe Support System (Quietly, If Needed):
Reach out to:
• A local women’s rights NGO or domestic violence helpline (like 181 or NIMHANS helpline)
• Trusted family members or a close friend (if safe to do so)
• A local counselor or mental health therapist who understands abuse dynamics
2. Legal & Safety Planning (Especially If You Have Kids):
Consult a family lawyer or a women’s rights organization in Bangalore. You do not have to leave immediately, but they will help you plan a safe exit, know your legal rights, and possibly file a restraining order if needed.
3. Continue Therapy and Medication:
Etizola can reduce anxiety symptoms short-term, but therapy is necessary for emotional healing and to rebuild your identity, strength, and self-worth.
4. Focus on Self-Recovery (Start Small):
• Take 20–30 minutes daily to walk, breathe, or journal—just for you.
• Reconnect with your old interests, dreams, or friends. This will help you reclaim your voice.
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Hi
Next Steps
marital therapy session
Health Tips
let's talk
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Hi,
I'm truly sorry to hear about the difficult and painful situation you're facing. It sounds like you are enduring emotional and possibly physical abuse, feeling isolated, controlled, and afraid for your safety and well-being. No one deserves to be treated in this way, and your feelings of fear, helplessness, and distress are valid. Itâs very important that you seek help and support from trusted sources, such as a counselor, a local womenâs shelter, or a support helpline for victims of domestic violence. Consider reaching out to friends or family members you trust who can offer emotional support and assistance. Your safety is the top priorityâif you feel threatened or in danger, contact local authorities immediately. Remember, you do not have to face this alone, and there are organizations and professionals equipped to help you find a way out of this situation safely. Your strength and courage to seek help are vital steps toward a healthier and safer future.
Next Steps
consult
Health Tips
seek help
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Hi
I’m really sorry you’re going through this—it sounds incredibly painful, suffocating, and emotionally damaging. What you’ve described is not just controlling behavior; it is abuse—emotional, psychological, and at times, physical. When someone tries to isolate you, control who you talk to, restrict your movements, manipulate your past, treat you like a possession, and gain satisfaction from hurting you, that’s not a marriage—that’s emotional captivity. And the worst part is, you’re made to feel like you’re the problem, or too afraid to take action.
You do have the right to live a life with respect, safety, and freedom. Therapy can help you rebuild your strength and clarity, but first, you need a safe environment. If your husband is refusing to leave and the torture is increasing, please speak to a women’s helpline or a family counselor who can help you plan a safe exit. This may also involve legal support, protection orders, or shifting temporarily to a secure location (maybe a trusted relative or support shelter).
You don’t have to suffer in silence. You’ve already taken the first brave step by asking for help. Take therapy, and you can connect with me on nine two six six seven two six zero six five.
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It seems that you are undergoing a lot ...
You are in a very abusive and toxic relationship... anyway, you need to overcome this issue and lead your life normally. You should be healthy physically, mentally and psychologically.
You need post marital counseling sessions to overcome the issue.
You must seek help otherwise things will get complicated and out of your control.
It can be well treated with counseling sessions and homeopathic medicine effectively if required.
You need an expert psychologist who is a good homeopathic physician.
Next Steps
I have been working as a Homeopathic Psychiatrist and Counseling psychologist for the last 17 years. You can contact me through an online appointment for further assistance.
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It can be emotionally stressful and painful for you to undergo such abuses. You can look at the various options that are open to you. Weigh the pros and cons of each option and make a decision. You feel individuality and freedom are important for you. Take all factors into consideration. Is it possible for you to consult a marriage counselor? You may look at online services. Believe in yourself that you can come out of it. Consulting a professional may help you.
Next Steps
seek professional help
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I understand your situation, don't worry, you can get help.
Next Steps
Seek Help & Plan Safely
If you're not safe or he's unwilling to change, prioritize individual therapy to rebuild your confidence and make a clear plan.
Health Tips
If abuse is present, create a safety plan—trusted contacts, emergency funds, secure space—and reach out to a therapist or support helpline.
Trust yourself—you deserve peace and respect. You have every right to leave.
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Ms. Hema Sampath
Counselling Psychologist
18 yrs exp
Bangalore
I understand your situation and the pain in you..
Either you reach out to your parents and his parents,
Or,
Consult a psychological Counselor who is also Relationship Coach..
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Sanjana Purdhani
Psychologist
2 yrs exp
Delhi
Thank you for opening up. Itâs clear from what youâve shared that youâve been enduring a long period of emotional, mental, and possibly physical distress within your marriage. When one partner controls the otherâs freedom â to speak, move, connect, or even care for their health â it can lead to feelings of deep exhaustion, confusion, fear, and helplessness. Itâs okay to feel overwhelmed. What youâre going through is not your fault â and itâs not something you have to accept as normal. No one should feel like a prisoner in their own home or marriage. Everyone deserves dignity, space, and safety in their personal relationships.
Next Steps
Reach Out for Confidential Help: If itâs safe, talk to a trusted friend or family member to begin creating a circle of support. Consider contacting a womenâs helpline (e.g., 181 in India) or a local womenâs rights organization that can guide you with safety planning and legal options if needed. Start Setting Emotional Boundaries Internally: Even if he tries to control or demean you, remind yourself: âHis actions donât define me. I still have worth and choices.â Begin mentally separating his behavior from your self-image. Begin Therapy for Yourself: Whether or not you take legal action, emotional support through counseling can help you feel clearer, more stable, and stronger to make the decisions that are right for you. You can explore online sessions through Soul Savera, where therapists offer confidential, non-judgmental support for women in difficult relationships.
Health Tips
Keep a private journal (even a voice note) to track your thoughts. This helps you stay connected with your own truth. Take short, intentional moments for yourself â a small walk, quiet music, or deep breathing. Speak kindly to yourself each day. Even saying: âIâm doing my best. I am not alone.â makes a difference.
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Ms. Rupali Mohbe
Clinical Psychologist
25 yrs exp
Ahmedabad
Hi, I appreciate that you reached out with your concern.
From what you’ve described, it appears you have been facing longstanding emotional abuse, isolation, controlling behavior, and previously even physical violence within your marriage.
I strongly encourage you to seek support from a clinical psychologist to help you process the trauma, rebuild your emotional strength, and create a plan for your safety and well-being.
Next Steps
For consultation, you can book an appointment with Rupali Mohbe/BIRDY ME at Practo
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Ms. Smriti
Counselling Psychologist
18 yrs exp
Bangalore
Domestic Violence Helplines in your area can provide emotional support, legal advice, and safe shelter options.Build a Support System: If possible, reconnect with trusted family or friends. Isolation is often used as a tool by abusers, and having even one ally can be empowering.
Next Steps
Counselors can help process the trauma and guide decisions.
Health Tips
consult
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Ms. Apurva Singh
Counselling Psychologist
2 yrs exp
Delhi
I'm so sorry you're going through this. Reading what you've shared, it's clear you've been carrying a very heavy burden for a long time—emotionally, mentally, and even physically. No one deserves to live in fear, isolation, or under control, especially in a relationship that is supposed to offer partnership, support, and care.
What you're describing is not just emotional pain; it's a pattern of mistreatment that can deeply affect your sense of self and safety. The fact that you're speaking up about it, even in this way, takes real courage. Many people stay silent for years, not because they are weak, but because they are trying to survive. And yet here you are, trying to find a way forward—not just for yourself, but very likely for your children too.
Sometimes, when life feels this overwhelming, it helps to have a space where your pain can be witnessed and your voice truly heard. A space that’s only for you—where you’re not judged, not dismissed, not controlled. That’s what therapy offers. It’s not about fixing you—you are not broken. It’s about helping you reconnect with your strength, your clarity, and your choices.
I gently encourage you to consider speaking with a therapist, someone who can walk alongside you, help you untangle the fear and the confusion, and support you as you decide what healing and safety look like for *you*. You don’t have to do this alone. And you don’t have to have all the answers right now. You just have to take one step at a time.
You matter. Your feelings matter. And there is a way out of this.
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