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Jealousy & Highly Emotional
I have been a family centric person where i have shown equal love & compassion with each members of my family. I have taken the most responsibility of the family even took debts for them also and even i am paying it off too. I have been working from the last 7 years without a holdiday trip or break for myself. Suddenly these days i am feeling very jealous and emotional towards the pampering of my younger brother by my parents. They take good care of him, and it indirectly show a difference of love and care by pampering him. I used to ignore it. My mother doesn't make a good food for me, but do everything for the younger brother. Even now younger brother taunts me as "you are the second choice" and you remained as a second choice. I just literally broke down from inside & I am numb now with these situation. Already i am bearing many issues with my mind, body and professional life. This hits really harder on me. I am thinking about moving out from family circle now.
Answers (11)
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This reflects emotional burnout, unresolved hurt, and perceived neglect after long term responsibility and self-sacrifice within the family.
Next Steps
Consult with me for focused counselling therapy to process family dynamics, boundaries, and emotional exhaustion.
Health Tips
Acknowledge your feelings, pause over-responsibility, and consider healthy emotional boundaries.
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Kindly connect with psychotherapist
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It seems to be subdued long standing stress leading to traumatic psychological changes.
It can be a combination of depression and other psychological issues.
It needs to be addressed asap otherwise it may get complicated and can affect your personal and social life.
It can be well treated with counseling sessions and homeopathic medicine effectively and without any side effects.
It needs to be addressed in a holistic approach for complete recovery.
You need an expert Psychologist who is a good homeopathic physician.
Next Steps
I have been working as a Homeopathic Psychiatrist and Counseling psychologist for the last 17 years of experience. You can contact me through an online appointment for further assistance.
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Hi
U r so right that when your own people for whom u have worked hard only to satisfy their needs and felt happy toiling to see them happy, take u for granted, it feels unbearable. From what u have mentioned it indicates that your family has completely taken you for granted and hence don’t know how to respect you. Family members have become selfish and totally neglect your wishes and feelings over your own brothers.
You are totally validated for wanting to leave them and be by your own self.
Next Steps
-Leave the house immediately if u don’t feel wanted.
-Start living on your own because you are earning and can manage your finances and living independently.
-Start your own family if that’s what u want
-Spend time with people who like u, value u.
-Leaving the house will be a bold statement on your part telling everyone that their bad behavior will not be tolerated by you anymore.
Health Tips
Even if they ask you to come back maintain your distance while maintaining basic ties with them.
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You deserve respect and recognition. Your brother’s words are not truth, they are hurtful projections. Please remember that your worth doesn’t depend on how your family treats you. You have already proven your strength and loyalty through years of hard work.
Next Steps
connect
Health Tips
consult
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Hi,It is okay to feel jealous towards your brother.It seems you are struggling to make your parents happy and in return you are not getting respect and love.
Next Steps
Consult a psychologist for professional help
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Hi
Thanks for reaching out
It’s completely understandable that you feel hurt and numb right now. You’ve carried the family for years, taken on debts, worked without a break, and given love equally but the care you receive in return feels unequal. Your brother’s taunts and your mother’s extra affection toward him tap into a deep feeling of being overlooked, not valued. This isn’t jealousy; it’s emotional exhaustion and the pain of not being seen after giving so much.
Wanting to step away from the family circle is a healthy signal that you need boundaries and space to protect your wellbeing. In therapy, we would focus on helping you rebuild your sense of worth, separate your identity from this painful family dynamic, and learn how to care for yourself without guilt. Take therapy. You can connect with me on nine two six six seven two six zero six five.
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Ms. Aditi Dwivedi
Psychologist
2 yrs exp
Delhi
It sounds like you are experiencing "Caregiver Burnout" and deep emotional exhaustion from years of self-sacrifice without reciprocity. When you give everything and receive "second choice" treatment in return, your mind naturally signals for self-preservation.
You have occupied the role of the "provider" and "emotional anchor" for seven years, likely neglecting your own needs to maintain family stability. Your sudden feelings of jealousy and numbness are not "bad" traits; they are symptoms of emotional depletion and the realization that your contributions are being taken for granted while your younger brother receives the affection you crave.
Next Steps
Establish Boundaries: Start saying "no" to new financial or emotional demands that exceed your capacity.
Controlled Distance: Moving out or creating physical space can help you regain your identity outside of your family role.
Therapeutic Support: Work with a counselor to process the "numbness" and the trauma of being labeled a "second choice" by family members
Health Tips
consult a psychologist
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Ms. Pooja Gupta
Psychologist
9 yrs exp
Delhi
Hi,
It sounds like you have been a very responsible, caring, and self-sacrificing person for your family, often putting their needs above your own without taking time for yourself. Your feelings of jealousy, emotional pain, and being hurt by the perceived lack of love and attention from your parents, especially compared to your younger brother, are understandable given your sacrifices and the neglect you feel. The taunts from your brother and the lack of appreciation can deeply affect your self-esteem and emotional well-being, leading to feelings of numbness and exhaustion. Itâs important to acknowledge your feelings and recognize that your emotional health matters. Considering moving out could be a positive step toward gaining independence, self-care, and emotional relief. Seeking support from a counselor or therapist can help you process these feelings, rebuild your self-worth, and find a healthy way to cope with the situation. Remember, taking care of yourself is essential, and you deserve love, respect, and happiness.
Next Steps
Consult
Health Tips
seek help
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Ms. Ligi R Nair
Counselling Psychologist
4 yrs exp
Bangalore
Thank you for sharing so openly. What you’re experiencing is valid — when someone carries most of the family’s responsibilities, it’s natural to feel hurt, unappreciated, or jealous when that effort isn’t acknowledged. Your emotional fatigue, long years without rest, and the comparisons at home have understandably overwhelmed you.
Next Steps
A few things may help you regain balance:
1. Acknowledge your emotions without judging them. Feeling jealous or hurt doesn’t make you “wrong”; it signals unmet needs and exhaustion.
2. Create healthy boundaries. It’s okay to step back from responsibilities that are draining you. Shifting some focus to your own wellbeing is not selfish — it’s necessary.
3. Communicate calmly with your parents. Sharing how you feel (without blame) can sometimes shift long-standing patterns:
“I feel unseen when my efforts go unnoticed. I need more emotional support now.”
4. Reduce engagement in hurtful interactions. If your brother’s comments are affecting your peace, it is okay to disengage or set limits.
5. Consider personal space. Moving out can sometimes bring emotional clarity, but it should be a thought-out decision, not one made from pain.
6. Seek professional support. You’ve been carrying a lot for many years. Speaking to a therapist can help you rebuild your emotional strength and learn healthier coping strategies.
Health Tips
You deserve care, appreciation, and balance — not constant strain. Support is available, and you don’t have to go through this alone.
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