I'm not able to be understand ppl. It!

Hi. I'm 35 years old. I'm a software engineer in a very good firm. But I am finding it difficult to understand what a person is agro-alimentaire trying to say and respond to him. I'm not able to handle people who are rude or talk in an indirect way. I know I need to ask questions but when the situation arises I'm not able to ask them. I'm putting pressure on my wife because of this. She is trying to handle everything. She tells me to talk in a particular way, gives real life examples. I understand what she says but I'm not able to implement it. Even if I'm able to, for one situation, I'm not able to do it consistently. This is putting pressure on our marriage. I feel inadequate, that I'm not man enough. This comes naturally to most ppl, but I'm finding good simple task very difficult. I'm not able to respond to my relatives, or friends or to the personalities whom I face in daily life. I'm able to handle all scenarios at work, but not outside of it