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How to handle an overly possessive partn
Hello Doctor,
I have been in a relationship for a year, and my partner is extremely possessive. She feels that I am not interested in her, even when I try to reassure her. She also dislikes it when I call my mother or sister and gets upset about it.
This is affecting my mental peace, and I want to know if this is a psychological issue or a common relationship problem. How can I handle this in a healthy way? Should I seek therapy for her or for both of us?
Thank you.
Answers (12)
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Kindly consult psychotherapist
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Hi
Next Steps
consult with a Psychologist
Health Tips
seek help
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Hi
Next Steps
relationship therapy
Health Tips
take appointment
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Ms. Neha Sachdev
Psychologist
11 yrs exp
Delhi
Hi
Ur partner is insecure and is scared to lose you. It’s important to know about her past relationships. She might be going through trust issues stemming from past relationships. It is also important to know her relationship with her parents to study this particular behaviour
Am sure she doesn’t like to hover around you but not being with u may be making her feel anxious n scared that u might leave her
Ask about her fear and insecurities
.
Next Steps
A couple therapy might help you guys to understand each other
There would be a lot of stuff that she might not have expressed to you and can be understood by the third person
Do consult
Happy to help
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Sanjana Purdhani
Psychologist
2 yrs exp
Delhi
Possessiveness in a relationship often stems from insecurity, fear of abandonment, or past experiences. While occasional jealousy is natural, excessive control, suspicion, or emotional distress can indicate attachment issues, low self-esteem, or deeper emotional wounds. Your partnerâs discomfort with your family interactions and her constant need for reassurance suggest that she may be struggling with trust or fear of losing you.
This is not just a "relationship problem"âit could be linked to psychological patterns, and itâs important to address it before it turns into emotional strain for both of you.
Next Steps
Set clear boundaries â Let your partner know that while you love and respect her, your relationship with your family is also important. Example: "I care about you deeply, but staying connected with my family is a part of who I am." â Validate, but donât over-reassure â Reassurance is important, but excessive reassurance can reinforce insecurity. Instead, encourage open conversations about her fears. Example: "I understand that you feel this way. Can we talk about what makes you uncomfortable?" â Encourage trust-building activities â Engage in activities that help her feel secure in the relationship. Example: Having open discussions, quality time, and mutual goal-setting can reduce unnecessary fears.
Health Tips
â¡ Couples Therapy â If open communication doesnât help, seeking therapy together can provide a neutral space to address her fears and your concerns. A psychologist can help navigate attachment styles and emotional regulation. â¡ Individual Therapy for Her â If her possessiveness is linked to deeper emotional struggles, individual counseling might help her work through them. You can suggest it in a supportive, non-blaming way.
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Mr. Sandeep Kumar
Psychologist
12 yrs exp
Chandigarh
Hi dear concerned,
Excessive possessiveness impacting your well-being is a serious concern. Communicate your boundaries clearly, and consider both couples and individual therapy.
Next Steps
you can connect with our mental health care professional asap
Health Tips
Prioritize your safety and well-being; don't hesitate to seek professional help.
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Ms. Amita Chaudhary
Clinical Psychologist
3 yrs exp
Gurgaon
It's important to set boundaries and expectations in any relationship. Due to blurred boundaries differences start to crop up and give rise to major conflicts.
Next Steps
Book couple counselling sessions for both of you.
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Ms. Sheetal Kusumbe
Counselling Psychologist
21 yrs exp
Thane
Hello,
You are affected by your partner's
over possessiveness. Your care and concern for a healthy relationship is appreciable.
There can be insecurity in your partner. You can address this by encouraging communication and giving attention.
Counseling sessions as a couple can help you understand the root cause of her insecurities,the constant need of attention and reassurance.
Therapy can help you express your feelings better. You will understand her perspective as well. This can facilitate better communication and subsequently a healthy relationship.
You shall overcome this with a balanced, empathetic approach. Wish you enhanced mental well-being and happiness.
You can consult for further professional guidance.
Happy Healthy Living!
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Ms. Rizwana Parvin T M
Counselling Psychologist
7 yrs exp
Coimbatore
A healthy boundary often creates healthy relationship. Both of you require personal space. Yes seek professional help, couple counselling is suggested.
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Ms. Smriti
Counselling Psychologist
18 yrs exp
Bangalore
Connect for couple counseling
Next Steps
consult
Health Tips
counseling
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