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How do I manage uncontrollable rage
A sick 3-week-old orphaned kitten wandered into my home. I have severe OCD, but my empathy overrode it. I bonded deeply—cleaning his vomit, helping him poop, and keeping his crashing body warm. I earn well and was ready to fully fund his care.
While I was working, my mother secretly took him and had someone dump him outside. She is a harsh person who does performative religious fasts but showed zero empathy. She is now happily gossiping, acting like nothing happened.
I feel like my baby was stolen. I’m suffering severe "ambiguous loss" not knowing his fate. Friends call me "too sensitive," leaving me isolated. My biggest struggle is boiling, uncontrollable rage toward my mother. I’ve lost all love for her. I actually cut up her expensive sarees yesterday just to force a consequence. The urge to retaliate more is overwhelming.
Questions:
How do I process this trauma living with her?
How do I stop this destructive rage?
How do I calm my fight-or-flight panic?
Answers (4)
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Helpnessness, feeling of been deceived, sorrow and many other negative emotions can come out in the form of rage. Rage is destructive for self and others . Learn ways to understand your emotions and how to express them safely
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Hi, therapy can help. Consult online for treatment
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Hi
I'm so sorry. Grieving a life you fought to save, with no closure, is real loss, and it isn't "too sensitive." Your love was the healthy part of this story. Give the grief a place to go: write him a letter, or name the moments you shared, because ambiguous loss needs rituals and people who take it seriously. Your anger is a natural response to a violation, but the urge to retaliate will keep you tied to her. Before acting on it, move your body with a fast walk or hard exercise, and put the rage into words on paper, unsent. Let the sarees be the last act, and limit conversations with your mother for now.
To calm the panic, breathe in for 4 and out slowly for 6 to 8, a few rounds, then name five things you can see around you. This settles the body so the mind can follow. There is more here to unpack, including why her act hit you so hard and what your OCD does with this kind of loss. A therapy session can help you work through it safely. If the urge to hurt her or yourself ever feels out of control, please reach out for help right away. Call or WhatsApp: nine two six six seven two six zero six five.
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Disclaimer : The content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding your medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website.