Forgetting things, or past or people.

I have a bad past, and I have been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. But I couldn't continue my therapies, due to my financial problems. I can't tell my parents about my mental health, they'll breakdown. And even after detecting with disorder, my conditions have been much worse, people cheated on me, my past, loneliness, feeling of leftovers, there are many other things. I need help in forgetting things. I need help to concentrate. I was good with memory and studies before. But after certain things, I feel I have lost my career, and I have noticed how I behave with people, how I am forgetting myself, I'll be doing something, then suddenly I remember oh this is wrong, this wasn't necessary. I jump from one thought to another thought spontaneously. I get migraines, I cry all the time, I get panic and anxiety attacks. My fingers and legs and feet go numb and they feel painful. I feel I get minor epilepsy or, minor version of paralysis