Doctor Answers (5) on Feeling unwanted
Adjusting to a new environment like college is a tough task. It gets tougher if you have a tendency to look down upon yourself the way you have been doing at the point.
To begin with you seem to have a sensitive nature accompanied by difficulty opening up with people at least in the beginning. It leads to a certain consciousness & reservations in your mind about the way people perceive you and certain awkwardness in your mannerism while relating with people. You find it difficult to show your true self which certainly is much more than what is being perceived.
You might have had few unfavorable experiences which has lead to the strengthening of the tendency to look down upon yourself. You crave for others to appreciate you, however think low of yourself unknowingly. This tendency makes you doubt the validity of compliments, when you receive some.
My dear friend, you need to alter the way you have been perceiving yourself to adjust better in college & gain most out of the experience. There are few steps you could follow to achieve same.
Firstly note down everything you want from yourself & life. Secondly make a note of those things you have already achieved also note down where exactly you are with respect to other aspirations(1-10). Think about small steps to bridge the gap & execute them. Join an activity outside college & Put in fresh efforts to make friends out of strangers. Observe people around & find out if they are really that different from you. Notice the similarities. Focus more on those aspects you are comfortable with, in college & also start noticing small strengths of yours, experiences you enjoy & worthy things about college. Notice if it is the performance or the company of people that make you happier.
People do not compliment you without noticing something good in you. If you have received compliments you were worthy of it though you aren't aware or convinced of it yet. You shall be. End of the day, you need to stop looking down upon yourself. If you do so, you shall set an example for society to follow.
Please make an attempt for a month to adjust . Do not hesitate to consult a professional if you find it difficult to do so. After all they are trained to & also want to help you reach your higher potential.
Need more details. As for now, to gain confidence just be yourself. Do not do anything for others. You are studying for your life improvements. Think in this way. Focus more on what you study.
Any further help feel free to contact me.