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Feeling unwanted

Helow doc.. from last year after my admission to new college.. i am constantly having a feeling that i am underestimated here by everyone.. i can't set a good impression for me to others... i am left behind and not at all important.. i also cant take compliments from others easliy.. it is killing me.. please help and suggest me how to gain lost confidence... Thank you
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Doctor Answers (5) on Feeling unwanted

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Dear friend, just focus on ur work only as later it wl help u creating own impression, if not possible u can think for behavour therapy and to improve coping skills. Best wishes
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Dr. Gaurav Kulkarni Mumbai | Psychiatrist
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You are in a new environment. There is no need to set up an impression. Let people acknowledge you the way you are. It will reduce your efforts and stress to portray yourself in a particular manner. Interact with people casually without any inhibitions and do not read beyond the lines for people. Do not be so aware of what people say or may think. Make your self comfortable and at ease. If you still face the same issue then see a therapist.
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Ms. Sneha Bhat Bangalore | Counselling Psychologist
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Hello There,

Adjusting to a new environment like college is a tough task.  It gets tougher if you have a tendency to look down upon yourself the way you have been doing at the point.

To begin with you seem to have a sensitive nature accompanied by difficulty opening up with people at least in the beginning. It leads to a certain consciousness & reservations in your mind about the way people perceive you and certain awkwardness in your mannerism while relating with people. You find it difficult to show your true self which certainly is much more than what is being perceived.

You might have had few unfavorable experiences which has lead to the strengthening of the tendency to look down upon yourself. You crave for others to appreciate you, however think low of yourself unknowingly. This tendency makes you doubt the validity of compliments, when you receive some.

My dear friend, you need to alter the way you have been perceiving yourself to adjust better in college & gain most out of the experience. There are few steps you could follow to achieve same.

Firstly note down everything you want from yourself & life. Secondly make a note of those things you have already achieved also note down where exactly you are with respect to other aspirations(1-10). Think about small steps to bridge the gap & execute them. Join an activity outside college & Put in fresh efforts to make friends out of strangers. Observe people around & find out if they are really that different from you. Notice the similarities. Focus more on those aspects you are comfortable with, in college & also start noticing small strengths of yours, experiences you enjoy & worthy things about college. Notice if it is the performance or the company of people that make you happier.

People do not compliment you without noticing something good in you. If you have received compliments you were worthy of it though you aren't aware or convinced of it yet. You shall be. End of the day, you need to stop looking down upon yourself. If you do so, you shall set an example for society to follow.

Please make an attempt for a month to adjust . Do not hesitate to consult a professional if you find it difficult to do so. After all they are trained to & also want to help you reach your higher potential.

Take Care.

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Dr. Lakshmi T Rajan Chennai | Counselling Psychologist
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Dear friend,

Need more details. As for now, to gain confidence just be yourself. Do not do anything for others. You are studying for your life improvements. Think in this way. Focus more on what you study.
Any further help feel free to contact me.
Wishes

Next Steps
Get help from a psychotherapist
Health Tips
Avoid taking non vegetarian foods at nights. sleep well. go for regular walking/any sports
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Dr. Udayan Bhaumik Kolkata | Psychiatrist
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Hello..you did not mention details like why you feel that others consider you unwanted.How is your interaction with professors and students?How is your performance in college?
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