Depression. Carrer was as low in acade!

I am trying to communicate my problems to you. I am still bothering about Negative thoughts,Negative happenings, Repeated scenes ,Strugguling at times with/without sleep, Negative triggers and lack of motivation with respect to my mindset Lot of imaginary dreaming which may / maynot happen At times willing to think about future but fall prey or believe in what mind say to me either –ve /+ve Every thing in my life looks easy and prety simple to me when ever it (situation) is over. Hard to find a solution when it is not over **** main problrm:::: I dont know how this has evolved but it is causing such a disaster things in my life That is thinking about causing harm/damages to others more frequently i’m feeling that every damage is caused by me . Most approximately good things happened and bad things too happened ::::::: Bad things happened or expected to happen :: -ve triggers, repeated scenes, deaths, (Espicially my B.tech Carrer was as low in acade