Depression and suicidal tendencies.

I think I might be suffering from depression. I cry for no reason almost everyday. Don't feel like doing anything. Dnt even want to wake up in the morning. Only time I feel happy is when I think of ending my life. I'm getting aggravated and hyper about every small thing. I cannot afford to go to a doctor for counselling. Have attempted suicide thrice but couldn't go through with it. I'm afraid next won't be invain. I have been a very positive person all my life. Never seen myself in this state before. I want to get better but don't know the casue for this or how to get out of it. Need help to get better. Have no support from my husband who just screams at me when I cry and this makes things worse every time. I tried telling him I'm suffering from depression but he doesn't understand. I badly need help. Don't want to live like this forever. Don't know what to do. PLEASE HELP!!!