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Confusion in my head
I have been married for 4 years now but not yet ready for a child. However have been receiving lot of pressure from family on this which is really impacting my mental health. It has also led to a confusion if I want to have a baby now or no as I am not ready for it.
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It seems to be anticipatory anxiety due to responsibility of motherhood or can be other psychological or physical health issues.
It needs to be resolved ASAP otherwise it may get complicated.
It can be well treated in a holistic approach for complete recovery.
It can be well treated with counseling sessions and homeopathic medicine effectively and without any side effects.
You need an expert psychologist who is a good homeopathic physician.
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I have been working as a Homeopathic Psychiatrist and Counseling psychologist for the last 17 years of experience. You can contact me through an online appointment for further assistance.
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You are feeling stressed and confused because of family pressure to have a child even though you are not mentally ready. This pressure is affecting your peace of mind and creating doubts.
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Talk openly with your partner and decide together about your readiness for a baby. Once you are clear as a couple, set firm boundaries with family and communicate your decision calmly. If you feel this stress is overwhelming, you can also consult with me for counselling support.
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Remind yourself that becoming a parent is your personal choice, not a race. Focus on self-care, strengthen your relationship, and use stress-relief practices like journaling or mindfulness to stay grounded.
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Hi, Talk to your husband.Consult a psychologist for couple counselling.
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Hi,
I'm sorry you're going through this challenging time. Itâs understandable that family pressure can be overwhelming, especially when you're still unsure about having a child. Your feelings and readiness are valid, and it's important to prioritize your mental health and personal space. Open communication with your family about your feelings and concerns might help them understand your perspective better. Remember, deciding when to have a child is a deeply personal choice, and it's okay to take the time you need to feel prepared. Focus on your well-being and trust that, when the time is right, you'll make the decision that's best for you and your partner.
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Hi,
It seems you are under a lot of pressure from family, which is making you second-guess your own readiness for having a child. Wanting or not wanting a baby right now is a deeply personal decision, and it should depend on your readiness, not external expectations. Feeling conflicted in such situations is completely normal. What may help is giving yourself permission to slow down, reflect on your own needs and priorities, and communicate openly with your partner. Since this pressure is affecting your mental health, consulting a psychologist could give you a safe space to explore your feelings and strengthen your clarity and confidence in making the decision that feels right for you.
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it’s hard when family pressure clashes with what you feel inside. The confusion you’re experiencing isn’t about failure, it’s about protecting your readiness. What matters most is your emotional and mental space, not others’ timelines. You have the right to decide when or if you’re ready for a child.
Next Steps
Journaling or therapy conversations can help separate your genuine wishes from family pressure.
Practice calm, firm responses like “we’re not ready yet, and we’ll share when we are.”
Talk openly with your spouse, so decisions come from both of you, not external pressure.
Build in routines that soothe you like, walks, prayer, deep breathing, or creative outlets.
Work on strengthening self-trust, so external voices don’t overpower your own readiness.
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When family asks, keep your answer short and consistent it reduces repeated questioning.
Share only what you’re comfortable with; you don’t owe detailed explanations.
Focus on strengthening your bond with your spouse being on the same page gives you confidence.
Remind yourself daily: readiness is personal, not a race.
When pressure feels heavy, step away, breathe slow, and ground yourself before reacting.
Build a support circle friends, therapist, or groups, where your choice is respected.
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From what youâve shared, the real challenge is not only the decision about having a child, but the pressure from family thatâs clouding your own feelings. It sounds like you are not ready right now, and that is perfectly okay.
Parenthood is a lifelong commitment, and rushing into it to satisfy others may harm your mental health and relationship. The priority now is for you and your partner to have clarity together and manage boundaries with family.
Next Steps
Have an honest talk with your partner â align on your feelings and timeline. Seek professional counselling â a neutral space to explore readiness, fears, and stress. Set clear boundaries with family â agree on a gentle, consistent response when the topic comes up. Check your overall wellbeing â stress from pressure can affect your sleep, mood, and body; address these early with self-care routines.
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Self-reflection tool: Ask yourself and your partner: Are we emotionally ready? Financially stable? Do we want this now or later? Write answers down to see clarity. Practice assertive but polite phrases with family (e.g., âWeâll make this decision as a couple when the time feels right.â). Focus on couple intimacy (travel, shared hobbies, strengthening emotional bond) â this will build confidence and stability for any future step. Stress relief practices: Deep breathing, journaling, light exercise, or meditation can reduce anxiety caused by pressure. Remember: There is no âideal timeline.â The right time is when you feel mentally and emotionally prepared.
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Hi
Family pressure around having children can create stress, guilt, and confusion, especially when you yourself don’t feel ready. It’s important to remember that readiness for parenthood is deeply personal it depends on your emotional, mental, and practical space, not just external expectations. The conflict you’re experiencing between “I’m not ready” and “Should I give in to family pressure?” is natural, but it shows how strongly outside voices are influencing your own.
In therapy, we work on separating your genuine desires from the noise of expectations, so you can make a choice that aligns with your values and well-being. If the thought of a baby feels overwhelming, it’s a signal to pause and reflect, not to rush. You deserve clarity, peace, and the confidence to decide at your own pace.
Take therapy. You can connect with me on nine two six six seven two six zero six five.
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Ms. Komal Singh Parihar
Psychologist
7 yrs exp
Navi Mumbai
Hi,
I hear the stress and confusion you are going through. Family expectations can feel very heavy, especially when it comes to such a personal decision like having a child. It’s natural to feel pressured, but it’s also important to remember that your mental and emotional readiness matter most.
Next Steps
Have an honest talk with your partner about how you both truly feel right now. Once you are aligned as a couple, it becomes easier to set clear boundaries with family in a calm but firm way. If the pressure continues to feel overwhelming, counselling can give you a safe space to sort out your feelings, reduce stress, and build confidence in your decisions.
Health Tips
Remind yourself that parenthood is not a race — it is a choice to be made when you feel ready. In the meantime, focus on strengthening your emotional wellbeing with daily self-care practices like journaling, meditation, or mindful breathing. These small steps can help you stay grounded and protect your peace of mind.
You are not wrong for wanting to wait until you’re ready. Your mental health deserves priority.
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Mr. Gunjan Maithil
Psychologist
13 yrs exp
Bangalore
Hi... This is a common concern among working professionals these days. Both men and women face this deliema of choosing to become parents in their mid or late 20's or live their life, pursue their career growth and life goals. Choosing to become parents comes with lot of sacrifices, responsibilites and constraints, but it is thoroughly satisfying and innate. The financial implications of having a child needs to rationally planned and executed. But apart from that, this constant feeling of not being able to provide or sustain constant efforts can make anyone feel overwhelmed and illequipped. Millennials understand the complexities of being a parent and the importance of good parenting. But we don't understand that it's an innate need to become parents. We want to witness and shape a world we believe exist and being a parent is the closest a human being can get to be a God while living in this world. This is more an existential perspective, but when you dig deeper in human psyche you will find that it is closely related to one's being. There is noone else who can make this decision for you. Not having a child right now or not at all, is completely your decision, like having one is completely your responsibility. Noone else is either going to bear the sacrifices or the responsibilities, nor they are going to receive any satisfaction or gratification. It's completely your own doing, so it's good that you are giving it a thought. You may seek help in a therapeutic setting to be able to better understand and reach a more appropriate decision, as per your situation.
Next Steps
Consult a Psychologist.
Pre-parenting Guidance and Counselling is required.
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Mr. Gunjan Maithil
Senior Psychologist
Cell: nine six seven one three zero three one three four
Website: https://gunjanmaithil.wixsite.com/therapy
App: http://wix.to/fechb08?ref=cl
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Ms. Smriti
Counselling Psychologist
18 yrs exp
Bangalore
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