Borderline personality disorder support.

I understand your predicament and would like to make a few suggestions that could help your sister. The following is addressed to her : I want you to know awareness of how the mind works and how thoughts are generated will help you deal with them. The nature of the Mind, which in simple terms we experience as thoughts, is such that, it will keep shifting its focus from one object/topic/event to another. Ii always needs something to hold on to. Another important characteristic of the Mind is this - You will either have thoughts about the past or the future. This will keep alternating. Try thinking about the present moment - you will see that the Mind and 'Now' can never coexist. The Mind has 3 states in general. Sometimes, you may find yourself having very positive, inspiring thoughts. During other times, you may find yourself very emotional, or all charged for action. Whereas during other times, you may feel very lethargic, dull or lazy. These states will keep alternating. Having understood the nature of the mind, the first step towards mental health is to become aware of your thoughts. Learning to be an observer of your thoughts, learning to observe them from a distance like clouds passing in the sky. The next step is knowing that you have the power to choose which thought you wish to focus on and act on and exercising that power. With practice, you will have better mastery over this process. Having negative, depressing thoughts is a universal predicament. Trust me, even if everything was perfect, you will still find something to be obsessed and concerned about. As mentioned above, with practice, you will learn to focus and entertain only those thoughts are healthy enough to be acted upon. Whenever you feel overwhelmed by thoughts, just bring your focus back to your breath and take a few relaxing breaths. You will automatically be able to focus on the task at hand and do what is required. Whatever you feed your mind through your sense organs will be replayed to you as thoughts. Be conscious of this. Take care of the content you feed your mind - the kind of books you read, the websites you visit, the kind of music you listen to, the kind of food you eat, the kind of company you keep ( "You are an average of five people you spend most of your time with" ) When you consciously make an effort to feed your mind positive, inspiring, motivational content and let go of limiting negative beliefs, i.e., stop listening to them and not allowing them to dictate the way you behave - new thinking patterns develop, you begin to explore new positive ways to respond to situations, the world responds to a new you, the feedback you receive changes - thus leading to new healthy beliefs taking shape and the cycle repeats. The next time you experience anxious, fearful or depressing thoughts, deal with it from the standpoint of knowing that it shall pass. Observe your bodily sensations without judging them as threatening. Know that it shall pass. Keep focusing on breathing slowly through it. Following is a breathing exercise that could be helpful : Inhale to a count of four - hold your breath to a count of four - exhale to a count of eight. Repeat this twenty times just before you lie down to sleep in the night and before starting your routine in the morning. Gently massage the back of your neck and the base of the scalp with your fingers. This will also help you relax better. Reflect on the following and write your answers down. Ask yourself : Where would I like to see myself ten years from now? What should I do today to reach there ten years from now? What would I do if I knew I wouldn't fail? What would I do if I weren't afraid? Write. Delete. Rewrite. Do this until you know you have been truly honest with yourself. No matter how impossible the answers might seem, I want you to know that you can and will make them possible. Take the first step. The rest will follow. A beautiful future awaits you. Take ownership of every moment, take responsibility for it and confidently work towards your dreams and aspirations. One day you will thank these dark moments for being the fuel for your success. Please set aside time for exercise daily and make sure you eat healthy every time. Our challenges that seem to threaten our very existence are the ones that serve as fuel for our evolution. Have faith in yourself. You are capable of dealing with this. This is going to pass and you are going to do just fine. Take care.