I have suicidal thoughts almost all the time on my mind. I was able to stop myself from self-harm until recently when I banged my head on the wall really hard continuously. I did not bleed. The pain in my head from hitting hard on the wall felt better than the headache I had from thinking about stressful topics. I have a constant feeling of heaviness on my chest and it gets even heavier when I'm thinking too much. I cry rarely but when I do the heaviness on my chest and the pain worsens.