I understand your distressful situation. However more clarity is needed regarding your problem. Information regarding your sleep, hunger, energy levels and concentration at whatever you do would be more helpful to decide on the severity of your condition. Don't worry it is not your fault, it is the hormonal and chemical fluctuations in your brain as a result of stress which is taking a toll on your mental health. Substance abuse affects the nervous system which has the ability to worsen all sorts of problems including depression, anxiety, psychosis or even dementia. However it is easily manageable with appropriate treatment so that dysfunction due to the same can be reduced and your quality of life will improve. Some counselling sessions along with medical help might be useful for you. I suggest you discuss with your psychiatrist about your concern. I would also be more than happy to help you with that if you are looking for second opinion or online assistance. Discussions will be held confidential. You can directly consult with me through Practo as needed. Online chat consultation is also available.