See yes it's a bit complicated situation...one feels bad when not prepared about the situation.. right..In your case or lifesituation it's difficult to predict anything.. getting me..I mean either you have to be ready and in control of your emotions from now onwards..And if you think this affair can be escape path from your worries..it doesn't appear so...So take your time to decide what exactly is your priority to have peace of mind... Consult a Psychiatrist for detailed evaluation and Management of the case..I know it's difficult but it's life....Have professional help...it will help for sure