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Abuse, a choice?

When manipulative borderline Disordered people or covert narcissists physically & verbally abuse their partners, is it a deliberate choice due to lack of will to change or are they prisoners of their disorder & unable to control their behaviour?
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Doctor Answers (2) on Abuse, a choice?

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Ms. Hema Sampath Bangalore | Clinical Psychologist
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Why do u blame the doer when the victim has the choice to avoid it.
Tell the other person to handle the situation.  It is the other person's choice whether  to dace it or to overcome it.
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definitely  the Doer requires counselling  along with the medication.  Try to help them out rather than blaming them and Victimising  them.
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They are unable to control their behavior, mostly. But please do not lose heart. Several new drugs have been discovered, and some medicine or combination of medicines is likely to take effect and solve your problem. Keep in regular touch with the treating psychiatrist. Perseverance pays..
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