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6 months after Breakup
My ex girlfriend left me on 10th July,2024,I still remember that darkest day of my life till now. I still remember her smile,I can hear her voiceI find ourselves when I see a cute couple,sometimes I feel that she is saying me to smoke less,I expect that she would come and throw away the cigarette from my han,but at the next moment I realise that I am just assuming.I don't want to talk to a new girl,I don't want to go on a date,I don't wanna be intimate with somebody,yeah I do watch porn though I must admit.I just want to preserve her only in my heart and mind, don't wanna give that place to anybody else,also I don't like to talk to a new girl.But I miss my ex girlfriend although I don't to see her,I wish that we will never meet again in life.These kinds of mixed thoughts are making me confused.Please elaborate these in detail.
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Response: Hello, thank you for sharing this. Moving on from a relationship while holding onto memories can be emotionally complex. It’s completely natural to feel grief and have mixed thoughts. Here are some ways to navigate this: Acknowledge Your Feelings – Allow yourself to grieve without judgment. Healing takes time, and it’s okay to feel a mix of emotions. Healthy Remembrance – Preserve memories in a way that brings peace, like writing a letter or keeping a special memento. Gradual Detachment – Limit triggers that intensify pain, such as revisiting old messages too often. Redirect your focus toward self-growth. Emotional Processing – Journaling, meditation, or speaking with a trusted friend can help organize your thoughts. Professional Support – If the emotions feel overwhelming, counseling can help process grief and create a path forward.
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I know it seems impossible right now but you'll get through this. Hang on!
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It seems to be a relationship induced traumatic experience. It needs to be addressed asap otherwise it may get complicated. It can be well treated with counseling sessions and homeopathic medicine effectively if required. It needs to be treated in a holistic approach for complete recovery. You need an expert psychologist who is a good homeopathic physician.
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I have been working as a Homeopathic Psychiatrist and Counseling Psychologist for the last 17 years. You can contact me through an online appointment for further assistance
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Hi! I’m sorry that you are going through this difficult time! It means you are grieving and your mixed feelings are absolutely normal. Missing your ex while not wanting to reconnect shows you are still processing the loss. Your mind is also adjusting to this change therefore you “hear” or expect her presence.
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Give yourself time. Healing takes a lot of energy and time.
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Try to focus on your self- care and socialising with loved ones! Therapy is always a good option, a safe place to explore and reflect on your feelings.
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Hi, It’s completely natural to feel a wide range of emotions following a breakup, especially one that holds significant meaning for you. The deep impact your ex-girlfriend had on your life is evident, as you continue to cherish her memories and struggle with the absence she left. Grieving a relationship is a complex process that involves mourning not just the person but also the future you envisioned together. It's common to experience mixed feelings: you may miss her deeply while simultaneously wanting to avoid any reconnection that might lead to further pain. The inclination to preserve her memory in your heart can be a way of honoring the bond you shared, yet it can also inhibit your ability to heal and move forward. Perhaps consider reflecting on what you learned from the relationship and how it shaped you, rather than viewing your memories as a barrier to experiencing new connections. It’s okay to take your time, and there's no rush to engage with new people if you're not ready. Engaging in self-care practices, such as journaling about your feelings, talking to friends or a counselor, or finding hobbies that bring you joy, can help clarify your thoughts and emotions. Recognising and addressing your feelings can ultimately lead to greater emotional clarity and personal growth. Remember, healing is not linear, and it’s perfectly fine to take the time you need to navigate through your feelings.
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consult with a Psychologist
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Consult a psychologist
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Hi It sounds like you’re experiencing a deep emotional conflict, and I want to assure you that what you’re feeling is completely valid. Losing someone we deeply love creates a complex mix of emotions, and it’s clear she left a significant impact on your life. Let’s explore this step by step: The date you mentioned—10th July 2024—feels like a turning point for you, marking the day you lost someone you deeply cared about. Remembering her smile, voice, and imagining her presence reflects how meaningful she was to you. This isn’t just about her absence—it’s also about grieving the emotional connection and security you had with her. See, It’s normal to feel conflicted. On one hand, you don’t want to let go of her memory; on the other, you wish to avoid meeting her again. These feelings show you’re still processing the loss. Imagining her actions, like telling you to smoke less, reflects your emotional attachment but also a struggle to fully accept her absence. Your reluctance to talk to new people or form new connections may stem from a fear of replacing her or being hurt again. However, letting go doesn’t mean forgetting her—it means allowing yourself to heal and grow beyond the pain. These feelings are complex but part of the healing process. Take your time, and if these thoughts feel overwhelming, therapy can help you explore them further and find clarity. You’re not alone in this.
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Consult for online therapy sessions All the best
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It will pass seek necessary intervention
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Hi
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relationship therapy
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a talk
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Hi You are missing her, as the days go on you will become normal, just keep going on and on..... Concentrate on other things in your life....
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Do focus on productive things, try to divert your mind....
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As the days goes on your mind and heart emotionally will heal... do not have to bother
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Hi.. kindly connect with the psychologist to resolve the inner conflicts.
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consult
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Hi, thank you for sharing your thoughts with me. I can see how deeply this breakup has affected you, and I want to assure you that everything you're feeling is valid. Relationships shape us in profound ways, and it's normal to feel a mix of emotions when they end. Let’s take this one step at a time. 1. Understanding Your Grief You described July 10th as the "darkest day" of your life, which shows how much this relationship meant to you. Missing her smile, hearing her voice, or picturing her actions are signs that your mind is still processing the loss. This isn't unusual—it’s part of mourning something important. However, when these memories become overwhelming, they can trap you in the past. It’s okay to miss her, but we need to work on balancing this with being present in your life today. 2. The Mixed Emotions It’s clear you’re feeling conflicted. On one hand, you miss her and hold onto her memory dearly, but on the other, you don’t want to see her again and feel unsure about letting anyone else into your life. These "mixed thoughts" are your mind’s way of trying to make sense of the pain. What’s important to understand is that it’s okay to feel this way—it’s not a sign of weakness or failure. You don’t have to rush into decisions about dating or replacing her memory. Let’s focus on giving yourself the space to heal at your own pace. 3. Preserving Her Memory vs. Moving On You mentioned that you want to preserve her in your heart and mind but don’t want to "give that place" to anyone else. This is an act of love and respect for what the relationship meant to you. However, preserving her memory doesn’t mean you need to close yourself off to future relationships. Think of it this way: Every meaningful connection you form in life adds to who you are rather than replacing what’s already there. When you’re ready, you’ll realize that moving forward doesn’t diminish the value of your past. 4. What You Can Do Right Now Here are a few steps to help you feel more grounded during this time: Let Yourself Grieve: Write down your feelings in a journal or talk to someone you trust. Letting emotions out can help you process them. Practice Self-Care: Smoking and watching porn might feel like temporary relief, but they won’t heal the pain. Try focusing on activities that nurture your emotional and physical health, like exercise, mindfulness, or spending time outdoors. Set Boundaries with Your Thoughts: When memories of her overwhelm you, gently remind yourself, "It’s okay to miss her, but I need to focus on myself right now." This can help you reclaim control. Explore New Experiences: Even if you’re not ready for a new relationship, connecting with new people or trying new activities can bring fresh perspectives and help you rebuild your sense of self. 5. It’s Okay to Seek Help You don’t have to go through this alone. A therapist or counselor can provide a safe space to explore your emotions further and work on building a future you’re excited about. --- Remember, healing isn’t about forgetting or replacing someone—it’s about creating space in your life for new possibilities. You’ve already taken the first step by opening up, and that’s a powerful start. How are you feeling about these suggestions?
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What you’re going through is a deep emotional response to heartbreak, and it’s completely natural. Losing someone significant creates a void, and your mind is struggling to process the change. The reason you still hear her voice and feel her presence is because your brain has wired itself to associate her with comfort, love, and routine. The emotional attachment remains, even when reality has shifted. Your mixed thoughts—missing her but not wanting to see her, avoiding new relationships yet still feeling drawn to her memory—are signs of unresolved grief and emotional attachment. Right now, your heart is resisting moving on because it wants to hold onto what was once meaningful. However, healing doesn’t mean forgetting—it means making peace with the past while allowing yourself to grow. Instead of suppressing your feelings, acknowledge them. Writing about your emotions, practicing mindfulness, or talking to someone (a close friend or therapist) can help you process them. Avoiding new relationships is okay for now, but try not to isolate yourself completely—human connection helps with healing. Setting small goals, exploring hobbies, or making lifestyle changes (like reducing smoking) can create new neural associations that don’t revolve around her. You don’t need to force yourself to "get over" her quickly—just focus on healing at your own pace. Over time, your heart will naturally make space for new experiences and people, even if that seems impossible right now. Healing is a journey, and you will get through this
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seeking support from a therapist or counselor
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Thank you for sharing such deep and vulnerable feelings. Losing someone you deeply cared for can feel like a wound that refuses to heal, especially when memories of them resurface in your everyday life. Your feelings of longing, pain, and confusion are valid, and they show just how meaningful that relationship was to you. It’s natural to feel conflicted—wanting to hold on to her memory while also wishing for closure. These mixed emotions reflect the struggle between your heart's attachment and your mind's awareness of reality. The fact that you vividly remember her smile, her voice, and even imagine her presence speaks to the strong bond you had. It's okay to miss her and not want to move on immediately; healing isn’t linear. However, it’s also important to address how this is affecting your ability to find peace within yourself.
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Allow Yourself to Grieve Acknowledge the sadness and longing you feel; these emotions are part of the healing process. Writing down your thoughts or expressing them to someone you trust can help. Reduce Triggers Gradually Identify activities or habits (like smoking) that bring back memories of her and slowly replace them with healthier routines or new hobbies. Focus on Emotional Clarity Recognize and label your emotions when they arise—whether it's loneliness, regret, or nostalgia. This will help you process them constructively. Engage in Self-Discovery Use this time to rediscover your passions and interests. Focus on personal growth by learning new skills or dedicating time to meaningful activities. Seek Support When Needed Speak with a trusted friend, family member, or therapist to share your feelings and gain perspective. You don’t have to navigate this alone.
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Take Small Steps: Healing takes time, so start with manageable actions like journaling, taking short walks, or setting aside 10 minutes for mindfulness daily. Create Healthy Distractions: Shift your focus from negative habits to positive ones like exercising, reading, or creative activities. These can help you feel more grounded. Practice Self-Compassion: Remind yourself that it’s okay to feel vulnerable. Treat yourself with kindness as you navigate this phase. Avoid Rushing the Process: Don’t pressure yourself to move on or meet new people until you’re ready. Allow healing to happen at its own pace. Stay Open to Growth: While it’s okay to preserve her memory, staying open to new possibilities—friendships, hobbies, or connections—will help you build a fulfilling future.
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Hi...This is a typical trauma response. Your mind is responding to this loss in a manner it responded long back to a childhood trauma/ loss. You are very likely not aware of this psychodynamics, at your conscious level. You need to take professional help to understand and overcome this predicament in your life. Remember, coming out of a breakup is one thing and fixing what is broken in your psychoemotional world is another. We all go though such rough patches in our lives and do overcome from them as well, but the scars remain latent and keep influencing our thoughts, emotions and behaviors from time to time. We only realize their impact when we are faced by another setback in our lives. Addressing these scars from the root is important otherwise the cycle continues and we remain struggling from same issues again and again in our lives just with a different attire. Hope you understand this and do something about it.
Next Steps
Consult a Psychologist. Interpersonal Guidance and Relationship Counselling is required. Psychoanalysis and CBT will work well.
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Mr. Gunjan Maithil Senior Psychologist Cell: nine six seven one three zero three one three four Website: https://gunjanmaithil.wixsite.com/therapy App: http://wix.to/fechb08?ref=cl
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Disclaimer : The content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding your medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website.