Consulted Dr. Prof. G.B. Singh (PhD) (Clinical Psychologist)
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I think the reason for my divorce is that I mistakenly thought I could make everyone happy because I had a well-paying job. Ultimately, I couldn’t live up to those expectations. Also, the reason that our relationship failed was because my wife would often make a mountain out of a molehill. Many problems that could have been solved in a few minutes were blown out of proportion. It is after therapy that I realize It wasn’t good for our mental health.
When we married, my family was very opposed to this relationship. They liked my wife as a person, but they did not believe that she could make me happy as I am a serious work person. In therapy, it was evident that we really do love each other, but I now understand and guess in reality love alone isn’t enough. It’s sad. Many people blme their failed marriage on various differences, but in our case, it was simply avoiding responsibility on both of our ends. I am grateful to Dr Singh as he did not let either me or my ex-wife spiral down to the point where we became bitter enemies. I wish we had met him earlier and stuck to his guidance. Maybe we would have been able to salvage the situation by working a bit harder on ourselves and working together with each other.
Dr. Prof. G.B. Singh (PhD) replied
The sad thing is that retaliatory complaining rather than resolving matters amicably is damaging a lot of relationships. If it is Genuine, it justifies the means. When it is retaliatory and consciously pursued, then it can do more damage than achieve any purpose. Arjun, did not need to share his experience, but it can serve as a learning point that we live in a small world. We can be quick to 'get back' at someone as everything is instant, but what when we meet them again in another setting.