Unable to have sex for 3 years. Help.

We got married 3 years back. It was a love marriage. We used to regularly indulge in sexual foreplay before getting married, but had decided not to have penetrative sex till we get married. However after we got married, my wife has been avoiding any kind of sexual contact with me, and we were never able to consummate. We tried therapy for few months, and it worked to some extent. But then after the therapy ended things went back to square one and haven't improved since. She tries to avoid any kind of foreplay. Whenever we have tried penetrative sex, she complains about lot of pain even before I try to enter. This has affected our relationship to a great extent.  She is not willing to see another therapist as she feels they blame her for everything and the therapy is not going to help. Please suggest what could be the reason for this and what kind of medication can help.