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Stress and negative thoughts
I am married for 5 months. My mother in law is very possessive of my husband and she starts complaining everytime i do something which she doesn't like. My mother have a history of Anxiety Disorder. As i am also a working personal i have to wake up early, clean the house, prepare meal for the whole family, go to office, in the evening again prepare food, dn clean up the utensils..etc etc. Its a hectic day and after doing everything my mother in law complains if i fail to do something. But the main problem is, my husband is very very devoted to his mother. He doesn't know how to balance his life between his mother and his wife. If he comes to help me in the kitchen his mom is like "you are tired take rest, she can do all this alone, after all she is a women so she will manage it". In the beginning i  felt sad but now i am starting to get angry. I am starting to hate my husband, negative thoughts like selfharm is starting to come to my mind. I despise my husband.
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Hello, I am able to understand what you are going through. Marriage is a major life event and has a lot of positive and negative effects on individuals. As you described, you are angry, sad and dissatisfied with the way your husband and mother in law are treating you, despite you trying hard to get along well. However, the issue is not who is right or wrong, the issue is about compromising to some extent from both the sides, which is not happening in your family.
Next Steps
You need to relax and try to have a healthy discussion with your husband and in laws and if you have tried and failed, kindly consult a psychiatrist. A family therapy or intervention is needed. also, as you are unable to control your emotions and even having self harm thoughts, you may require some medicines to relax you for sometime.
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Consult a psychiatrist .it seems u have adjustment issues
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Yes I see your situation. You getting angry only tells that you want somethings in a particular way but not happening that way. This can't go on like this and your life is very important to you . You need to have a detailed discussion with your husband when you both are relaxed and calmer . Then better to discuss with your in laws as well . You may also take professional help  .
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Disclaimer : The content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding your medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website.