I am a very scared person to tell docter what problem I have. I know very well a docter will heal me. But I do not have guts to visit docter.
I have pychological problems also. I know I am deteriorating . but I do not what to know what desease I have..
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As u said u have not yet figured out wat exactly is ur problem.
And i presume u want to get rid of that 'something'. The best at this point will to just ally wid someone ( doctor or psychiatrist or clinical psychologist or a mental health expert) wid whom u can atleast figure out wat ur foe is or wat r its boundaries.
As the saying goes " keep ur friends close but ur enemies even closer " ; so we got to figure out dat first .
Then it will b all upto u whether u find dat something manageable on ur own or u need some professional help or more......u can always take a call on dat ur self. .
Only thing i can make out from the above problem is that its troubling u and causing anxiety ...so it needs attention.
Hope this helps u ...but feel free to consult further.
Take care. Best of luck