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OCD link w/ Masturbation or not guilt
Explain if the following scenario is masturbation or not:
I have an almost-daily habit where I hug and kiss my pillow very passionately, imagining it as my girlfriend — the girl I deeply wished to be with. While doing this, I get emotionally involved, like I'm making out with her. I don't touch my genitals directly or rub them against the pillow, but I do get an erection, and it starts throbbing during the process.
Sometimes, I pull back the foreskin slightly to check, and I notice pre-cum has come out. At that point, I stopped. This pattern repeats daily, and I’m starting to feel like I might be masturbating, even though I’m not stimulating myself with my hands or the pillow.
Back in the days when I used to masturbate,I used to hump the bed. But it's been 2 years now. There's more to do in life other than this cheap stuff. I'm trying to get hold of one habit that makes me over generalise.
Answers (4)
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The deeper pattern here seems to reflect unmet emotional or relational needs — a strong desire for intimacy, connection, and maybe even unprocessed feelings about past relationships or loneliness. Labeling this as “cheap” may be your inner critic speaking — turning a natural emotional coping attempt into something shameful, which only intensifies guilt.
Therapy advice:
Instead of suppressing or moralizing this experience, explore it in therapy. A psychologist can help you uncover the emotional need beneath this ritual, work on managing self-critical thoughts, and develop healthier ways to meet your need for connection, intimacy, and self-acceptance.
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Thank you for your honesty in sharing something so personal. What you're describing isn’t technically masturbation in the traditional sense, since there’s no direct genital stimulation or intention to reach orgasm. However, it does involve sexual arousal and emotional fantasy, which can lead to involuntary physical responses like erection or pre-ejaculate.
This behavior seems to be a form of sensual self-soothing and emotional expression, possibly linked to unfulfilled intimacy needs or past habits. The fact that you’re reflecting on it and trying to understand it is a good sign of self-awareness.
Next Steps
1. Talking to a mental health professional to explore emotional needs, guilt, or compulsivity.
2. Practicing mindfulness, journaling, or finding creative/relational outlets.
Health Tips
1. Avoiding self-judgment- many people go through such phases during emotional or sexual development.
2. Keep reflecting and take small steps toward the version of yourself you want to be.
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Dr. Kavita Bhutani (PhD)
Psychologist
7 yrs exp
Gurgaon
This is not traditional masturbation but a form of sensual, fantasy-based self-soothing rooted in unmet emotional needs. It reflects emotional intimacy longing, not just sexual desire. Therapy can explore attachment issues, normalize desire, and address internalized shame, helping him build healthier connections with self and others could be a conflict between sec is dirty and i am pure types
Maybe controlling parents and childhood shame on some crush or over critical parent maybe
Deep breathe
Write your fears
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Disclaimer : The content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding your medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website.